multiple realizations in merely 12 days.

I'm just taking a small break from stuyding and homework, so I thought why not go write a blogpost? I'm sorry I've been slacking, again. I'm just really stepping up my game in school, and been super busy with work. Alot has happened, so prepare yourself for a long (maybe medium length, if you're lucky) blog post.

First, a week ago from today I found out that one of my old friends from junior high had committed suicide. He always suffered with depression, and many people tried to help him but I guess it just became too much for him to handle. It's sad and heartbreaking, because he was turning 16 this month, his birthday being in two weeks. He was so young, and I wish that he would have believed that things do get better. I also feel kind of guilty, to be honest. I remember believing that he wouldn't do it, and I lost touch with him after junior high. We both went to different schools, and started hanging out with different crowds. His death made me realize a bunch of things.

Everyone you meet touches you in some way. Every conversation is like this collection, that affect alittle bit of your opinion, or even just make you think or realize something. The second you make that connection with another person, it's there for life. When they leave, you're just left with regrets and what ifs.

Another realization, is that be overly kind. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle, no matter how big or small. People can easily lie about their situations, and downsize it from what it really is. It may be something small and insignificant for you, but for them it's huge and important. I know I'm a difficult person to cheer up, but that when someone smiles at me, or just in general is kind, I automatically DO cheer up even the SLIGHTEST. That small gesture, can completely make someones day.

I feel happy at this point in time of my life, school is going amazing. Work is amazing, friends, everything. I feel like simplicity it slowly creeping its way back. That's another thing I realized. Simplicity is key. Sometimes simple, is all you need. It's what I aim for now, I don't want complicated. I don't want drama, anger. I don't want that bad stuff residing inside me, and showing up in my life constantly. Although I know it'll come in and out occasionally, just as it does for every person, I don't want to live with it every single day, and stress about it. I just generally, feel happy. I feel closer to my friends, family. I've managed to focus on school, work and volunteering. I feel balanced, and just really, as CHEEEEESY as this sounds, at peace. It's an amazing feeling, I missed it for quite some time. But anyway, my mini study break is now over, back to biology and social I go!

I hope all of you are fantastic :)
much love,
little jay.

highschool

I have a question, mulitple questions actually.
Who gave girls the right to degrade other girls?
Who gave us the right to go behind a girls back and say whatever we pleased about them?
When did that even become okay?
When was simplicity sucked out of our lives?
Why do we make everything so complicated for ourselves?
We choose to make things as hard for us as we can, and then we complain about it. We're not 5 years old, we are perfectly capable of making our own choices now, we have no one to blame but ourselves. That's why, I want to make things simple for myself. I dont want complications in my day to day. I've said it before, this year I want no drama. Already, that's been ruined but we can only hope the rest is better right? I want to be happier, not hostile. This year should be one of the happiest, it's our last year before we go into "the real world". We should be partying it up, not fighting. It's a fact that you don't talk to 97% of the people you graduate with who are your friends after graduation day. We should be using every moment preciously! Every moment counts, it always has.