Dear ________,
I wish you realized how hard I bust my ass off in everything to make you proud for even a single second. You say I don't do anything, I know compared to you it's little, but it's not nothing. For an average person in grade 12, I think I do alot. I volunteer twice a week, work 4 times a week until 10:30/11:30 just so you don't have to pay for any of my things. I'm saving towards a car, mac book, and my spending money in Europe all for YOU not to buy it for me. I study, manage a 93 in AP English, and study my ass off as hard as I can for Chemistry. I got into the best nursing school in North America to realize the dream you had as a pediatric nurse pracitioner. I do something, hoping for even the slightest smile. And all I get in return is a blow or insult. I'm not selfish. I haven't done something for MYSELF in a long time, I don't even remember the last thing I did for myself. I get barely any sleep from staying up either doing homework, studying or coming home late from work. You didn't even ask me how my valedictorian speech went. You know how much that meant to me, especially since I wasn't expecting to be nominated. You watched me sit around my computer trying to make the best speech I could.
People always tell me I'm this great person, that I'm going to go places and that I'm this or that. I never believe them because everytime I think I'm starting to be good enough, you shut me down and show me I'm not. I'm to the point I'm going to fall over exhausted because I am physically and mentally drained of trying so hard. I'm not even done high school yet and I already feel like this. I know I lash out at times, and sometimes don't do what you ask me to do right away, but I get it done. And when I do it, I don't half ass it. And even that isn't good enough for you. It's never good enough for you. I never will be. That's what it feels like anyway.
Sorry for the disappointment.
Joana.
