An Ode to the Joys of having a Vagina

I've come to the conclusion that provoking a female when on their period is closely related and more deadly than provoking let's say... a poisonous snake, or some psychotic serial killer. It should be frowned upon in society. Boys, you just don't understand the immensity of confusion and clusterfuck-ness of hormones that goes down during that 5-7 day span. I'll paint a picture for you.

First, we're bleeding from our lady parts. Okay? Don't mean to disgust you or change your sexuality by that mental picture but it is life, and frankly, life also is born due to that bleeding if you catch my drift. Just imagine if you were bleeding from your man parts, would you enjoy it? Would you saunter around in your favourite clothes and shake your ass to your favourite song and just be 24/7 happy? No. You wouldn't. Then, not only are we suffering from what feels like a gunshot wound down south, our OTHER lady parts (for some women, not all) feel like they have been directly falcon punched by Mike Tyson  and swell sometimes double their size. For you guys reading this, I bet you're all smirking because who doesn't like a girl spontaneously double their bra size for a week, it's like male heaven. But let me tell you, they are so painful that even a simple, nice, friendly hug will turn into a deadly murder scene if you hug too hard.

So far, we're bleeding and suffering from boob pain. Next comes the cramps. I don't even know how many guys have asked me... "what do cramps feel like?" What do they feel like?! They feel like a knife is  scraping at the inside of your abdomen, or try stabbing a knife in your testicle and please, tell me how pleasant that feels. Aside from cramps, some of us girls have bloating (where we puff up like a pufferfish with water weight), back pain, and for some girls food just decides it doesn't want to be inside our bodies any longer.

You can now imagine all the physical problems going on, now on top of that our hormones decide to just explode and swing everywhere like we're on some carousel. This isn't a fun carousel. It's like being in a freaking saw movie. In a split second we can turn into your greatest nightmare. Here's some examples of how dramatic these mood swings can become over the smallest things:

Example 1: My one friend burst into tears when no one saved her a pot of coffee one morning.
Example 2: I burst into tears when my day consisted of me dropping my favourite book in a puddle (HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?), when every single bus I could take home drove passed me in 30 seconds that I waited to cross the street, and then dropped my phone in a snow pile.
Example 3: I angrily compared someone to a lizard for complaining that their soup I had just served them was cold, despite that I burnt my finger on it. A lizard.
Example 4: Another friend spontaneously burst into tears when she opened the fridge and realized there was no milk for breakfast.

Do you need any more examples? Do you want to provoke us over bigger things? Does that sound like a good idea during the 5-7 days we suffer, when you could leave it for the other 20 some days that month? No bro, take it from a highly PMS girl (my poor boyfriend...), don't even try.

But, although we turn into these messed up versions of Godzilla for 5-7 days, don't be afraid and retreat into the bomb shelters boys. When the 5-7 days are over, we will turn back into our loving selves. However,  if this is a constant scenario for you, you poor soul, you're probably dating a witch.
But please, don't worry... we're only girls. :)

The Wallet Saver

So, I have spontaneously decided that I am going to put myself on a regimen. Not a diet sort of thing, but for those of you who don't know, I have three addictions that just eat up my pay cheques like candy: make-up, clothing and money spending. I can't even describe the happiness I feel when I buy something... or a lot of things, just because I can. It's pure bliss. But what's not bliss, is looking at my bank account afterwards with "The Frown" -- you know, the face you make when your heart breaks a little bit at the balance staring bluntly back into your face? I've decided I need to kick my habits hard, before they kick me even harder. I call this the "The Wallet Saver".
& Here's how I'm going to do this...

1. Make Up: for the people close to me, they know how much I enjoy it. I have drawers completely full of make up I don't even use on a regular basis, just because I like having it. I love buying the brand new plastic wrapped products, trying them out and then stuffing them into a drawer waiting for the perfect moment to wear it. To kick this habit, I'm going to start Project 10 Pan. Also for those of you who don't know, I am an avid youtube watcher and love watching make up tutorials, so to explain Project 10 Pan (a youtube-given idea) it's pretty much I have to use up -- COMPLETELY USE UP-- at least ten products from my make up collection (preferably more). With this, I'll actually use the things I intended on using before and actually finish them before I buy anything else.

2. Clothing:  I also have a problem of buying a bunch of clothes then just shoving it in my closet because I never have a "time" for wearing it. To kick this, I'm going to force myself to wear everything in my closet --everything-- at least once this year. This may not seem like a big deal, but since I'm heavily addicted to sweatpants, yoga pants and sleeping in late... Even wearing everything once will be a challenge with school. I will also force myself to not buy any new clothes for 3 months at a time, and at every 3 month period I will reward myself with ONE clothing item. This means, I will not buy anything new until APRIL 24TH, 2012 (except maybe a Coldplay t-shirt... because I'm seeing them). Just so you know, I might just die because shopping is a massive part of my life... but I'm determined to kick this. Maybe I'll take it even one step further and force myself to take a picture of my outfit everyday for the next year... but that's undecided.

3. Spending: Spending can range from something small as a 6 dollar sandwich to ridiculously priced shoes. Everything in between. I'm making my monthly budget ridiculous, keeping it from 15-25 dollars a month. BUT, there are exceptions to the budgets such as friend's birthday's and such. I seriously want to maintain it to this, of course with an increase when I meet my bank account goal (which for privacy purposes I'm not revealing on the blog, but trust me I'm a ways away).

I'll keep you all posted on how this little escapade will unfold... and hopefully, I don't go through too much withdrawl in the process, and even if you're feeling daring, try it out with me :)!

To do it yourself just pick three things bad habits that consequently affect your wallet and bank accounts, set goals and try it for a year! :)

saving instead of spending,
little jay :)

thinking while reading

While I've been overwhelmed with school work, doing the countless readings I'm required myself to do I find myself having self-reflecting moments and thinking clearly (of course, not on the material I'm reading...). I've always been the kind of person whose afraid of being alone. I mean, who wants to be alone? I've always had this unnecessary need to fight for people to be in my life and to constantly need them there; know everything going on and talking every single day (I don't really know the words to say here, I'm just going on a whim so I apologize if this is scatter brained). While coming into my second semester of university, I came to realize that in order to not lose your sanity (for me, anyway) you need a solid support group, one that you don't have to work for and fight for. I mean, I'm too busy reading at least over 200 pages a week and being expected to retain it, I don't have time to be scurrying behind working so hard in my relationships, and I especially don't have the time to be putting up with petty immaturities (I'm not trying to sound condescending or conceited).

So, I have come to a conclusion that surprisingly, I'm okay with. I'm content with the few I have, the ones that actually know what goes on in my life and try to be there for me without me having to make the first move or every single move. My need to constantly chase after others instead of focusing on myself or the bigger picture, was jeopardizing all the things I have going for me and everything I've worked my ass off for. I saw a quote the other day, that probably all of you have seen, that just fit everything:

Don't make someone who makes you an option, your priority.

So my advice to everyone tonight is, be okay with yourself. Be content with who you have, even if it's not the amount of people you want. It'll be a painstaking process to figure this all out in your head, but when you do it's the most relaxing feeling ,and nonetheless surprising.

I hope everyone's new year is going fantastic :)
and blogs will pop up between the... excessive school work.

much love,
little jay

a brand new year

With a new year comes new opportunities, and a new day to begin the journey to re-invent yourself. I'm not saying a new year is a brand new clean slate, your history doesn't disappear with the 10-second countdown. But the dates, the baggage, it can slowly dwindle into events in the past hidden at the back of your mind. I want to begin this year without the baggage of 2011. I've made a few simple and easy resolutions, that I want to stick by in order to make 2012 better.

First, What happened to me in 2011?
I lost a really good friend, and made some new ones. I graduated high school, started life and university, visited my favourite city in the world New York, fell in love. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and found the people who are really there for me. I learned to appreciate my family over everything, and to smile even through the tears because I'm strong enough for that. 2011 was a whirlwind, a lot happened and even more changed, one life chapter ended and a new one began.

I want to go into 2012 with open arms and an open mind. At the beginning of 2011 I thought it would remain the way it was forever. Well, I was wrong. 2011 was my best year, and my worst. As I said, I fell in love and made some amazing friends. I started doing what I wanted to do with my life, and make my own independent decisions without having to rely on anyone else. But it was also one of my worst, because as much as I gained I also lost. I lost friends, lost touch and somedays even lost sight of myself.

My resolutions:

Apologize & Forgive. 
I've always been so proud and stubborn to admit I'm at fault, and although it's difficult for me to hold grudges because I forget why I'm mad in the first place, I want to forgive people too.

Smile & Stay Strong.
Everyone has moments of weakness, but I want to begin to overcome mine. I want to take the high road, and not let the little things bother me anymore.

Tell the people I love that I love them, everyday.
I love my family, I love my friends, my boyfriend, dog. I want them to know it everyday, and know how important they all are to me; the impact they make on my life and how much they change me into being the best I can be.

Take the high road.
High school is 5 months behind me, and sometimes I still find myself seeping into that high school mentality. The fake-ness, the jealousy, and honestly I want to escape that. I want to overcome that immaturity and develop into someone I can be proud of.

There are other resolutions, you know like the typical "go to the gym" and "stay in shape" ordeals, but the ones I mentioned at the ones I want to stick to throughout the whole year, and my whole life.

I hope everyone has a great start at the beginning of this year, and that each of you reach your greatest and full potential. :) Happy New Year you guys

little jay :)