I'm just taking a small break from stuyding and homework, so I thought why not go write a blogpost? I'm sorry I've been slacking, again. I'm just really stepping up my game in school, and been super busy with work. Alot has happened, so prepare yourself for a long (maybe medium length, if you're lucky) blog post.
First, a week ago from today I found out that one of my old friends from junior high had committed suicide. He always suffered with depression, and many people tried to help him but I guess it just became too much for him to handle. It's sad and heartbreaking, because he was turning 16 this month, his birthday being in two weeks. He was so young, and I wish that he would have believed that things do get better. I also feel kind of guilty, to be honest. I remember believing that he wouldn't do it, and I lost touch with him after junior high. We both went to different schools, and started hanging out with different crowds. His death made me realize a bunch of things.
Everyone you meet touches you in some way. Every conversation is like this collection, that affect alittle bit of your opinion, or even just make you think or realize something. The second you make that connection with another person, it's there for life. When they leave, you're just left with regrets and what ifs.
Another realization, is that be overly kind. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle, no matter how big or small. People can easily lie about their situations, and downsize it from what it really is. It may be something small and insignificant for you, but for them it's huge and important. I know I'm a difficult person to cheer up, but that when someone smiles at me, or just in general is kind, I automatically DO cheer up even the SLIGHTEST. That small gesture, can completely make someones day.
I feel happy at this point in time of my life, school is going amazing. Work is amazing, friends, everything. I feel like simplicity it slowly creeping its way back. That's another thing I realized. Simplicity is key. Sometimes simple, is all you need. It's what I aim for now, I don't want complicated. I don't want drama, anger. I don't want that bad stuff residing inside me, and showing up in my life constantly. Although I know it'll come in and out occasionally, just as it does for every person, I don't want to live with it every single day, and stress about it. I just generally, feel happy. I feel closer to my friends, family. I've managed to focus on school, work and volunteering. I feel balanced, and just really, as CHEEEEESY as this sounds, at peace. It's an amazing feeling, I missed it for quite some time. But anyway, my mini study break is now over, back to biology and social I go!
I hope all of you are fantastic :)
much love,
little jay.
November 17, 2010
November 5, 2010
highschool
I have a question, mulitple questions actually.
Who gave girls the right to degrade other girls?
Who gave us the right to go behind a girls back and say whatever we pleased about them?
When did that even become okay?
When was simplicity sucked out of our lives?
Why do we make everything so complicated for ourselves?
We choose to make things as hard for us as we can, and then we complain about it. We're not 5 years old, we are perfectly capable of making our own choices now, we have no one to blame but ourselves. That's why, I want to make things simple for myself. I dont want complications in my day to day. I've said it before, this year I want no drama. Already, that's been ruined but we can only hope the rest is better right? I want to be happier, not hostile. This year should be one of the happiest, it's our last year before we go into "the real world". We should be partying it up, not fighting. It's a fact that you don't talk to 97% of the people you graduate with who are your friends after graduation day. We should be using every moment preciously! Every moment counts, it always has.
Who gave girls the right to degrade other girls?
Who gave us the right to go behind a girls back and say whatever we pleased about them?
When did that even become okay?
When was simplicity sucked out of our lives?
Why do we make everything so complicated for ourselves?
We choose to make things as hard for us as we can, and then we complain about it. We're not 5 years old, we are perfectly capable of making our own choices now, we have no one to blame but ourselves. That's why, I want to make things simple for myself. I dont want complications in my day to day. I've said it before, this year I want no drama. Already, that's been ruined but we can only hope the rest is better right? I want to be happier, not hostile. This year should be one of the happiest, it's our last year before we go into "the real world". We should be partying it up, not fighting. It's a fact that you don't talk to 97% of the people you graduate with who are your friends after graduation day. We should be using every moment preciously! Every moment counts, it always has.
October 26, 2010
technology brings memories
My grandpa passed away when I was three. I only have one vivid memory of him, and it is walking into my grandma's house in Portugal, and my grandpa being at the door to the kitchen in his wheelchair. He had turned his head to see my cousins Noemia, Sara and I walking in from a day at the river swimming. He smiled. Ironically, that is the only memory all three of us share, or remember. Recently I found a youtube video, that his friend had put up. I didn't remember how his voice sounded, but seeing him moving in a video, before his disease was... heart-breaking? I don't remember him much, as I've said before, but it still hurts to see my mom sometimes wipe away a tear, or wonder what if would have been like if he really had lived, and hadn't been so stubborn to not take his medication. I know he watches over me and my family, but that doesn't keep me from wondering. I love you Grandpa, I hope you're not in pain or unhappy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdFPS2uGDxo
No one rarely goes into your wine cellar anymore in Portugal, it was yours. I love you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdFPS2uGDxo
No one rarely goes into your wine cellar anymore in Portugal, it was yours. I love you.
October 21, 2010
happy birthday to mee!
Hello, it's my 17th birthday! :) yay!
It's been a good day so far. But that's not what I'm going to blog about today!
In Religion class, we're watching the movie Patch Adams. This movie, single-handedly, explains why I want to go into the medical feild. I want to connect with people. I want to help them. I want to be their friend, and take their mind off their pain and suffering.
I have an interview to volunteer at Alberta Hosptital next week, I'm super excited. I also want to volunteer at a seniors home near my home, and also at the pediatrics ward in a hospital. But unfortunately, I called the hospital and they said they weren't recruiting right now, so I have to try again in January.
Oh well!
ttyl,
little jay :)
It's been a good day so far. But that's not what I'm going to blog about today!
In Religion class, we're watching the movie Patch Adams. This movie, single-handedly, explains why I want to go into the medical feild. I want to connect with people. I want to help them. I want to be their friend, and take their mind off their pain and suffering.
I have an interview to volunteer at Alberta Hosptital next week, I'm super excited. I also want to volunteer at a seniors home near my home, and also at the pediatrics ward in a hospital. But unfortunately, I called the hospital and they said they weren't recruiting right now, so I have to try again in January.
Oh well!
ttyl,
little jay :)
October 18, 2010
72 hours to seventeen.
So, it's my birthday in 3 days.
I decided to do a little blog before I jet off to work at 5:30.
It occured to me that this year, I graduate. I'm kind of a slow person in realizing things, like for example, in grade 10 it didn't really OCCUR to me we were in grade 10 until the graduation of the senior class that year...... yup, 10 months and it never occured to me.
I feel like time flew by way too fast. I feel like I should've done things, but I didn't. I feel like I have alot of regrets. I'm not really a believer on the whole "live life with no regrets" TOOOO a certain. extent. I just wish I could have known better, you know? I wish I had been one of those people that set out a plan for myself, a goal. I never really did that until this year, and this year my marks are killer and school is going primarily great. Before I just slacked, and I really wish I hadn't.
I kind of wish I wasn't as shy, well no, not shy. But not afraid to do things. That instead of waiting, waiting and waiting for things to happen, sitting there taking a number, I should have MADE them happen. Patience didn't really get me anywhere other than being irritated that things promised DIDN'T happen. I don't want to make promises anymore, and I'm not saying that in a pessimistic way. A promise, for me, is something heavy. It's not just thrown out there for me. I will admit, that sometimes I did just say I promise because I thought I would, but then things change, opinions change, and things don't go as planned. I've broken alot of promises this year, in the span of like a month and a half, and I know I've hurt people because of it, and I'm sorry for that. I know that I hate when people make me promises and don't keep them, so my rule of law from this moment on is to NOT make a promise, unless with 200% of every fibre in my body will keep it; because that person deserves that much if the thing is so important to them for they to ask you to promise.
ANYYYYYYYYWAY, let's talk about life.
I'm stuck on two post-secondary schools. Both has spectacular programs, Gmac and U of A.
I'm going to apply to both, but I have to actually CHOOSE one sooner than later. Why is getting to "real life" so difficult? :( Mama is calling me to eat, I'll blog again soon.
peace and blessings,
little jay
I decided to do a little blog before I jet off to work at 5:30.
It occured to me that this year, I graduate. I'm kind of a slow person in realizing things, like for example, in grade 10 it didn't really OCCUR to me we were in grade 10 until the graduation of the senior class that year...... yup, 10 months and it never occured to me.
I feel like time flew by way too fast. I feel like I should've done things, but I didn't. I feel like I have alot of regrets. I'm not really a believer on the whole "live life with no regrets" TOOOO a certain. extent. I just wish I could have known better, you know? I wish I had been one of those people that set out a plan for myself, a goal. I never really did that until this year, and this year my marks are killer and school is going primarily great. Before I just slacked, and I really wish I hadn't.
I kind of wish I wasn't as shy, well no, not shy. But not afraid to do things. That instead of waiting, waiting and waiting for things to happen, sitting there taking a number, I should have MADE them happen. Patience didn't really get me anywhere other than being irritated that things promised DIDN'T happen. I don't want to make promises anymore, and I'm not saying that in a pessimistic way. A promise, for me, is something heavy. It's not just thrown out there for me. I will admit, that sometimes I did just say I promise because I thought I would, but then things change, opinions change, and things don't go as planned. I've broken alot of promises this year, in the span of like a month and a half, and I know I've hurt people because of it, and I'm sorry for that. I know that I hate when people make me promises and don't keep them, so my rule of law from this moment on is to NOT make a promise, unless with 200% of every fibre in my body will keep it; because that person deserves that much if the thing is so important to them for they to ask you to promise.
ANYYYYYYYYWAY, let's talk about life.
I'm stuck on two post-secondary schools. Both has spectacular programs, Gmac and U of A.
I'm going to apply to both, but I have to actually CHOOSE one sooner than later. Why is getting to "real life" so difficult? :( Mama is calling me to eat, I'll blog again soon.
peace and blessings,
little jay
October 15, 2010
tick tock, time flies
This year is crazy. I'm serious. I've never been so overwhelmed in my life, and it seems like my to-do list just keeps growing and growing and growing.
I'm doing alot of volunteering this year, then also I'm working 4 night a week (definately changing it to 3), and then I have to keep my marks above 85. Then add in all the post-secondary stuff, and searching for scholarships, I'm beat.
Not going to lie, I kind of miss grade 10 where I thought everything was crazy and hectic. Or maybe even grade 3. Does anyone wanna zap me back to third grade? KINDERGARDEN. I. freaking. loved. Kindergarden. LOL!
Anyway, this is just a little update blog on the possibility of me not blogging as much.
Ciao, I hope to write soon!
little jay
(watch.... in like a couple hours.... i'll be blogging again....)
I'm doing alot of volunteering this year, then also I'm working 4 night a week (definately changing it to 3), and then I have to keep my marks above 85. Then add in all the post-secondary stuff, and searching for scholarships, I'm beat.
Not going to lie, I kind of miss grade 10 where I thought everything was crazy and hectic. Or maybe even grade 3. Does anyone wanna zap me back to third grade? KINDERGARDEN. I. freaking. loved. Kindergarden. LOL!
Anyway, this is just a little update blog on the possibility of me not blogging as much.
Ciao, I hope to write soon!
little jay
(watch.... in like a couple hours.... i'll be blogging again....)
October 11, 2010
insomnia does this to you.
It's yet again, another late blog post. What can I say, I think when I'm laying in bed.
I know I haven't blogged since my last kind of "epiphany" blog about things I really need to change about myself, particularily because I really just didn't know what to do with it. I bared my soul practically, on the internet, and pointed out my biggest flaws. How do I really move on from that? I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know. I really don't. It's like... a new road, and I'm going mapless. This whole changing myself thing is mapless really. I just know where my desination is to be, how I get there is a different story.
You know what? Maybe the point is never to reach the destination. People are always changing, the world is always changing, EVERYTHING is always changing. We go through phases and fads like it's no ones buisness. As we grow older (not saying I'm old LOL!), styles change, and we gain opinions and ideas. Things are always just changing. I don't even know if this rant has a point. Maybe I'm just rambling now. Yes, definately rambling. But shouldn't we be always changing too?
Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep, I logged on with an important idea, but I forgot it amongst the ramble. I'll write tomorrow hopefully, and it should come back to me with sleeeeeeeep.
dreamland bound,
little jay
I know I haven't blogged since my last kind of "epiphany" blog about things I really need to change about myself, particularily because I really just didn't know what to do with it. I bared my soul practically, on the internet, and pointed out my biggest flaws. How do I really move on from that? I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know. I really don't. It's like... a new road, and I'm going mapless. This whole changing myself thing is mapless really. I just know where my desination is to be, how I get there is a different story.
You know what? Maybe the point is never to reach the destination. People are always changing, the world is always changing, EVERYTHING is always changing. We go through phases and fads like it's no ones buisness. As we grow older (not saying I'm old LOL!), styles change, and we gain opinions and ideas. Things are always just changing. I don't even know if this rant has a point. Maybe I'm just rambling now. Yes, definately rambling. But shouldn't we be always changing too?
Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep, I logged on with an important idea, but I forgot it amongst the ramble. I'll write tomorrow hopefully, and it should come back to me with sleeeeeeeep.
dreamland bound,
little jay
October 6, 2010
midnight realizations.
It's late, and I have a biology exam tomorrow.
But I know that if I don't make this blog post right now I:
a) probably never will or
b) not be able to sleep.
I've said before I know the kind of person I want to be. But I never sit and think of the person I really am right now, and what I need to change.
I push people away. I love my mom, but I don't want to be become like her bad-side. She pushes people away, and shuts them down. She expects people to just magically know what's wrong with her. She will shut someone out completely until they leave her life; I've seen her do it. I refuse to cry infront of people, and I don't even know why. I'm used to being the one people go to for support. I'm used to being the person that acts as structure to hold things together. I'm so used to it that when I feel the need to cry, or open up, I wait until I'm alone.
I have a fear of confrontation. I hate confrontation, and I don't think I've really admitted it out-loud. When there's an argument, I give up. I suck at proving points even if I'm in the right, and I'm so terrified of losing people or getting people angry at me that I try to avoid it all together. I like to put a bandaid on things and hope they go away, but soon enough you need to rip the bandaid off, and the sting is even worse than before.
I'm Sensitive. This normally isn't a bad thing, but it's overpowering for me. It's ridiculous, but I will break up inside over anything. I always have a need to cry, or fighting back tears (that feeling in your throat) over meaningless little things. The second someone calls me something and has something to justify it, I doubt myself to the point I trick myself to believe that I really am what they say I am.
I swallow my emotions. I will sit there, and for weeks hold in my anger or feelings. I get sidetracked with them, and don't deal with them. Then it gets to the point that it's such a mess, that I can't even tell them apart and no one can help. I dig myself a hole so deep, that even I don't even know the way out. I will hold and hold and hold until everything suddenly breaks over the stupidest thing.
I give up to easily. I never used to give up easily, but when things started getting harder, I'd just give up. I don't know why, and maybe sometimes, just sometimes, I could justify to myself why I did, but by then so much time would've passed that it wouldn't even matter anymore.
I bite my tongue. Normally, this would be good. But I have a tendency to speak when I shouldn't, and stay quiet when I should be objecting.
I'm a bitch. I try to get back at people if they hurt me. Maybe not even intentionally, and sometimes I don't even go through with it. But I think it. And thinking it is just as worse.
I know there's more, but every one after this really just relates back to the first two in some way shape or form. I'm a coward, and I never really admited it. I have to face my fears, it's part of maturing. I'm calling myself on the crap I've done, realized who I DON'T want to be, and am moving on hopefully in the right direction. I know I'll have speedbumps, I'm a teenager, it's natural. I kind of feel like I've had an epiphany, as corny as that sounds. I kind of feel a little... happy, to realize these things. Does that make me sick? Or just happy to finally come to terms with who I am, so I can finally move on? Who knows, maybe it's even the meds I'm on for my tonsilitis mixed with buckley's. I'm off to sleepland though, good night world.
But I know that if I don't make this blog post right now I:
a) probably never will or
b) not be able to sleep.
I've said before I know the kind of person I want to be. But I never sit and think of the person I really am right now, and what I need to change.
I push people away. I love my mom, but I don't want to be become like her bad-side. She pushes people away, and shuts them down. She expects people to just magically know what's wrong with her. She will shut someone out completely until they leave her life; I've seen her do it. I refuse to cry infront of people, and I don't even know why. I'm used to being the one people go to for support. I'm used to being the person that acts as structure to hold things together. I'm so used to it that when I feel the need to cry, or open up, I wait until I'm alone.
I have a fear of confrontation. I hate confrontation, and I don't think I've really admitted it out-loud. When there's an argument, I give up. I suck at proving points even if I'm in the right, and I'm so terrified of losing people or getting people angry at me that I try to avoid it all together. I like to put a bandaid on things and hope they go away, but soon enough you need to rip the bandaid off, and the sting is even worse than before.
I'm Sensitive. This normally isn't a bad thing, but it's overpowering for me. It's ridiculous, but I will break up inside over anything. I always have a need to cry, or fighting back tears (that feeling in your throat) over meaningless little things. The second someone calls me something and has something to justify it, I doubt myself to the point I trick myself to believe that I really am what they say I am.
I swallow my emotions. I will sit there, and for weeks hold in my anger or feelings. I get sidetracked with them, and don't deal with them. Then it gets to the point that it's such a mess, that I can't even tell them apart and no one can help. I dig myself a hole so deep, that even I don't even know the way out. I will hold and hold and hold until everything suddenly breaks over the stupidest thing.
I give up to easily. I never used to give up easily, but when things started getting harder, I'd just give up. I don't know why, and maybe sometimes, just sometimes, I could justify to myself why I did, but by then so much time would've passed that it wouldn't even matter anymore.
I bite my tongue. Normally, this would be good. But I have a tendency to speak when I shouldn't, and stay quiet when I should be objecting.
I'm a bitch. I try to get back at people if they hurt me. Maybe not even intentionally, and sometimes I don't even go through with it. But I think it. And thinking it is just as worse.
I know there's more, but every one after this really just relates back to the first two in some way shape or form. I'm a coward, and I never really admited it. I have to face my fears, it's part of maturing. I'm calling myself on the crap I've done, realized who I DON'T want to be, and am moving on hopefully in the right direction. I know I'll have speedbumps, I'm a teenager, it's natural. I kind of feel like I've had an epiphany, as corny as that sounds. I kind of feel a little... happy, to realize these things. Does that make me sick? Or just happy to finally come to terms with who I am, so I can finally move on? Who knows, maybe it's even the meds I'm on for my tonsilitis mixed with buckley's. I'm off to sleepland though, good night world.
alittle more personal.
I made this blog to talk about things that are important to me.
So here I go.
Dear _________,
Maybe you'll get pissed off that I'm blogging about this, or maybe not. I don't even know if you'll see this, or even if you'll care. I don't know. Everytime I try to talk about what I need to say, you turn things to you and I never get what I want to say out. Then I know that when I do say what I have to say, you won't believe me because that's just how you are. So in the end, it sucks for both of us because I never get to get my point across, and you never get to hear what you want.
This way, I'll have no interuptions.
First of all, you think you mattered nothing to me. You did, you mattered alot. It's why when you called me things I knew I wasn't, or blamed me for things I didn't do I would cry.
You have this idea that I'm a complete bitch in your mind, that all I wanted was to get in, and hurt you. Atleast that's the feeling I get. Well, you're wrong.
You had a way of making things that seemed important to me become stupid or meaningless, and when I would tell you something in confidence, later on you would use it against me in one of our stupid arguments over meaningless things. I didn't purposely do what I did, or even if I did something. I tried to be a good friend, I really truly did. I didn't want things in highschool to be how they were in junior high for you, because I knew what had happened.
I understand why you're angry at all of us (I'm not naming names.), but you also need to truly understand what you did to hurt us. But this, right now in this blog post, is about me.
I knew you were trying, I did. But even trying, you still did it over stupid things. You would say I never apologized when I would, interpret my intentions one way while I meant the other. It felt like you always were looking for the bad thing, the negative, in me. You said I never told you how I felt, well here it is, all of it now. I never said anything to you like how you would say to me during our fights, because I didn't want you to feel how I was feeling. I'd get angry enough to sometimes slip up, but I never wanted you to feel like nothing how I did when you called me things I wasn't. I'm the kind of person that will hold onto things, hoping they get better, knowing bad doesn't always last, but it's grade 12, and I can't CAN'T go through anymore name-calling or dumb arguments. Over the limo, I didn't have anything to do with it, over the "vote" to kick you out, I don't even KNOW if there was a vote. All I said, was that it was stupid you were willing to not come with us because of one other person who would sit on the opposite side of the limo. I didn't blow it up. I dropped out of planning safe-grad because you again thought I was doing all this stuff I wasn't. I dropped out to avoid drama, and to avoid arguments on my last year because the last year is supposed to be the best. I didn't do it to piss you off. What pissed ME off was you thought I was planning everything without peoples consent, or being controlling when really, I was just waiting for our stupid meeting the next week. I wasn't going to take credit for "your idea", all I did was talk to people I should about it. It was stupid when you were blaming me for everything when I dropped out, and calling me all that stuff and saying if safe grad fell through it was my fault because I "royally fucked up". I had nothing, and you saw that when you took over.
I did make alot of mistakes, and I apologize for them. I can't remember them all, but I am sorry.
I'm sorry if I was a horrible friend, I didn't intend to be. I didn't intend to hurt you, I hate hurting people, and I never wanted you to be one of the people I hurt the most. But things didn't pan out how they panned out because of everyone else, I just can't anymore. Maybe that's a pathetic reason, and it's probably what you're thinking, but I can't. I'm not writing this to cause a fight, or even to make peace. I don't want this to make you angry, and if it does, just tell me and I'll just delete it. I'm not writing this to make you feel like your the bad guy again, but you let me know everything I did, so it's my turn to write how I felt. But I just want to say I'm sorry that I can't, that I can't continue something like this, although some times were amazing, others you don't even want to know what went through my head okay? I'm still here if you need anything.
Joana.
So here I go.
Dear _________,
Maybe you'll get pissed off that I'm blogging about this, or maybe not. I don't even know if you'll see this, or even if you'll care. I don't know. Everytime I try to talk about what I need to say, you turn things to you and I never get what I want to say out. Then I know that when I do say what I have to say, you won't believe me because that's just how you are. So in the end, it sucks for both of us because I never get to get my point across, and you never get to hear what you want.
This way, I'll have no interuptions.
First of all, you think you mattered nothing to me. You did, you mattered alot. It's why when you called me things I knew I wasn't, or blamed me for things I didn't do I would cry.
You have this idea that I'm a complete bitch in your mind, that all I wanted was to get in, and hurt you. Atleast that's the feeling I get. Well, you're wrong.
You had a way of making things that seemed important to me become stupid or meaningless, and when I would tell you something in confidence, later on you would use it against me in one of our stupid arguments over meaningless things. I didn't purposely do what I did, or even if I did something. I tried to be a good friend, I really truly did. I didn't want things in highschool to be how they were in junior high for you, because I knew what had happened.
I understand why you're angry at all of us (I'm not naming names.), but you also need to truly understand what you did to hurt us. But this, right now in this blog post, is about me.
I knew you were trying, I did. But even trying, you still did it over stupid things. You would say I never apologized when I would, interpret my intentions one way while I meant the other. It felt like you always were looking for the bad thing, the negative, in me. You said I never told you how I felt, well here it is, all of it now. I never said anything to you like how you would say to me during our fights, because I didn't want you to feel how I was feeling. I'd get angry enough to sometimes slip up, but I never wanted you to feel like nothing how I did when you called me things I wasn't. I'm the kind of person that will hold onto things, hoping they get better, knowing bad doesn't always last, but it's grade 12, and I can't CAN'T go through anymore name-calling or dumb arguments. Over the limo, I didn't have anything to do with it, over the "vote" to kick you out, I don't even KNOW if there was a vote. All I said, was that it was stupid you were willing to not come with us because of one other person who would sit on the opposite side of the limo. I didn't blow it up. I dropped out of planning safe-grad because you again thought I was doing all this stuff I wasn't. I dropped out to avoid drama, and to avoid arguments on my last year because the last year is supposed to be the best. I didn't do it to piss you off. What pissed ME off was you thought I was planning everything without peoples consent, or being controlling when really, I was just waiting for our stupid meeting the next week. I wasn't going to take credit for "your idea", all I did was talk to people I should about it. It was stupid when you were blaming me for everything when I dropped out, and calling me all that stuff and saying if safe grad fell through it was my fault because I "royally fucked up". I had nothing, and you saw that when you took over.
I did make alot of mistakes, and I apologize for them. I can't remember them all, but I am sorry.
I'm sorry if I was a horrible friend, I didn't intend to be. I didn't intend to hurt you, I hate hurting people, and I never wanted you to be one of the people I hurt the most. But things didn't pan out how they panned out because of everyone else, I just can't anymore. Maybe that's a pathetic reason, and it's probably what you're thinking, but I can't. I'm not writing this to cause a fight, or even to make peace. I don't want this to make you angry, and if it does, just tell me and I'll just delete it. I'm not writing this to make you feel like your the bad guy again, but you let me know everything I did, so it's my turn to write how I felt. But I just want to say I'm sorry that I can't, that I can't continue something like this, although some times were amazing, others you don't even want to know what went through my head okay? I'm still here if you need anything.
Joana.
like a broken record
I kind of feel disappointed, but I can't exactly explain why.
I also don't really feel like having a birthday party, because I know it'll just result in drama, and people may say that girls "secretly" crave drama: I'm not one of them.
It's kind of disappointing that people have swooped down so low and resulted to calling people names like bitch or slut, or just trying to sabbotage their school year. I'm not going to lie, I've been that low and I've done those things. Maybe someone will call me hypocritical for writing about this, but arn't we all hypocrites? Opinions change, beleifs change, situations change, as much as people will avoid it and try to push it away, as time goes on everything changes in one way or another. I don't think people should be called hypocritical, because at some point your life, you've been one too. Would YOU have enjoyed someone calling you that?
Someone's status on facebook the other day was something like: "treat others the way you want to be treated; because if you're a bitch Karma will be one too."
I know my blog posts, majority of them, come back to this idea of treating other the way you want to be treated. But it's the truth. I cannot emphasis on that enough. It's the new mentality I'm seeing things with. In a previous blog, I mentioned that I was over the drama that exists in highschool. It's true, I am. We, high schoolers, expect people to treat us like adults. But yet, we act like we're back in elementary towards eachother. Does that really make sense? It doesn't to me, and maybe this is just my opinion, but if my generation stopped being so thick-headed, they'd see it too. ONE person has to be the bigger person and just get over it. It takes two to tango but if one person just walks away, the dance is over. LOL, like my metaphor?
It's so hard to write about this, because I honestly don't really know where I'm going with it. I think I'm just going to stop here, gather my thoughts, do the stuff I have to do today, then maybe come back later and finish off this blog.
My point? treat others the way you want to be treated. It's repetitive, but I think we should get t-shirts.
coughing away,
little jay
I also don't really feel like having a birthday party, because I know it'll just result in drama, and people may say that girls "secretly" crave drama: I'm not one of them.
It's kind of disappointing that people have swooped down so low and resulted to calling people names like bitch or slut, or just trying to sabbotage their school year. I'm not going to lie, I've been that low and I've done those things. Maybe someone will call me hypocritical for writing about this, but arn't we all hypocrites? Opinions change, beleifs change, situations change, as much as people will avoid it and try to push it away, as time goes on everything changes in one way or another. I don't think people should be called hypocritical, because at some point your life, you've been one too. Would YOU have enjoyed someone calling you that?
Someone's status on facebook the other day was something like: "treat others the way you want to be treated; because if you're a bitch Karma will be one too."
I know my blog posts, majority of them, come back to this idea of treating other the way you want to be treated. But it's the truth. I cannot emphasis on that enough. It's the new mentality I'm seeing things with. In a previous blog, I mentioned that I was over the drama that exists in highschool. It's true, I am. We, high schoolers, expect people to treat us like adults. But yet, we act like we're back in elementary towards eachother. Does that really make sense? It doesn't to me, and maybe this is just my opinion, but if my generation stopped being so thick-headed, they'd see it too. ONE person has to be the bigger person and just get over it. It takes two to tango but if one person just walks away, the dance is over. LOL, like my metaphor?
It's so hard to write about this, because I honestly don't really know where I'm going with it. I think I'm just going to stop here, gather my thoughts, do the stuff I have to do today, then maybe come back later and finish off this blog.
My point? treat others the way you want to be treated. It's repetitive, but I think we should get t-shirts.
coughing away,
little jay
October 5, 2010
have no idea what this blog is about.........
I'm taking a quick study break from Biology.
My sickness got worse, and today I discovered I have tonsilitis.
The doctor said it would be best for me to stay home tomorrow, but I hate missing school. I mean, I do love the whole sleeping in thing, but I really hate getting behind in classes and having to learn things myself while learning other things at the same time.
I don't really have anything to blog about...
My throat feels like I have two rocks just chillin' in there.
My head feels like there's a thousand bricks just sitting ontop of it.
My face feels like it's been punched in.
I am freezing cold, typing this in a wool sweater with sweatpants where outside it's bright and sunny.
This royally sucks.
I really love working at Earls, it's so different then my old job. I love the friends I've made there, and being a hostess talking to so many different people. I can't wait until I turn 18 and can begin serving there too! This past Sunday we held a Lobster Gala Cancer Charity event, it was so fun. In the end we raised over 8,000 for the Cross Cancer Institute here in Edmonton, and it was amazing.
What else can I talk about...
I'm eating Kraft Dinner right now... a little snack pack one until supper.
I'm watching my mom wrestle with her oven rack as she scrubs it, my comedy of the night.
OH MY GOD, ONE TREE HILL COMES ON TONIGHT!
For those of you who don't know, I absolutely love One Tree Hill. It is the one show that can make me laugh until I pee my pants, or bawl until I'm a hiccuping mess. I proudly own all the released 7 seasons, and faithfully watch Season 8 on Tuesdays. :) One Tree Hill and Pretty Little Liars are my two all time favorite shows.
Oh, I also quite enjoy bridal shows and extreme makeover and what not to wear.
I love how this blog is completely random, it's ridiculous.
Meiosis is calling my name,
little jay
My sickness got worse, and today I discovered I have tonsilitis.
The doctor said it would be best for me to stay home tomorrow, but I hate missing school. I mean, I do love the whole sleeping in thing, but I really hate getting behind in classes and having to learn things myself while learning other things at the same time.
I don't really have anything to blog about...
My throat feels like I have two rocks just chillin' in there.
My head feels like there's a thousand bricks just sitting ontop of it.
My face feels like it's been punched in.
I am freezing cold, typing this in a wool sweater with sweatpants where outside it's bright and sunny.
This royally sucks.
I really love working at Earls, it's so different then my old job. I love the friends I've made there, and being a hostess talking to so many different people. I can't wait until I turn 18 and can begin serving there too! This past Sunday we held a Lobster Gala Cancer Charity event, it was so fun. In the end we raised over 8,000 for the Cross Cancer Institute here in Edmonton, and it was amazing.
What else can I talk about...
I'm eating Kraft Dinner right now... a little snack pack one until supper.
I'm watching my mom wrestle with her oven rack as she scrubs it, my comedy of the night.
OH MY GOD, ONE TREE HILL COMES ON TONIGHT!
For those of you who don't know, I absolutely love One Tree Hill. It is the one show that can make me laugh until I pee my pants, or bawl until I'm a hiccuping mess. I proudly own all the released 7 seasons, and faithfully watch Season 8 on Tuesdays. :) One Tree Hill and Pretty Little Liars are my two all time favorite shows.
Oh, I also quite enjoy bridal shows and extreme makeover and what not to wear.
I love how this blog is completely random, it's ridiculous.
Meiosis is calling my name,
little jay
October 4, 2010
rambles of realizations
See, I said I'd try to blog before bed and I am indeed. :)
My bed sheets feel as if I'm sleeping wrapped up in a teddy bear. They're awesome and fuzzy.
ANYWAY,
I feel like things are going to be okay this year.
I mean every year has it's bumps and curves, and it's random stop signs, but in the end you get to the same place you want to be. I'm not saying this year has been easy at all, because there have been some tough times even in the past month, but you know my mentality? It's high school. In 10, 20 hell maybe even in 5 years, I'll be looking back and laughing at my choices, or things I got completely angry about that were really just stupid. There is so much AFTER high school that there is no point in just sitting and sulking about what happens in these small insignificant three years of your life.
Well, not insignificant, because alot of your future is shaped by the choices you make now, but the small things that we all sweat over; boys, clothes, parties, bitch-fits, drama, it all just won't matter when we get our diplomas in June. We move on, and conquer new things.
I'm over the name calling and dramatic bitch-fits. Over the bullshit and boy-crazy mentality. I really, honestly and truly, just don't care anymore. If you don't like my shoes, then don't look at them. If you don't like my opinion on something, too bad, it's called an opinion for a reason. We are all people, and all individually different.
I'm not angry at anyone, simply just indifferent. I'm not going to waste my energy and time being angry at stupid things, rather I'm going to try anyway. No promises there, I could slip up a few times.
I sort of feel... at peace, with myself. I know what I want now, and I'm going for it. I know what person I want to be, and I'll make it there. I'm working hard, and I know it'll pay off.
I have no idea even if this blog post makes sense really, but my mind is pacing so fast that I felt like I had to get it all down. I'm pretty sure I forgot some points along the way, but oh well, it'll come to me at some point and I'll blog about it then. I'm going to get some sleep though loves.
when life hands you lemons, make your lemonade
little jay
My bed sheets feel as if I'm sleeping wrapped up in a teddy bear. They're awesome and fuzzy.
ANYWAY,
I feel like things are going to be okay this year.
I mean every year has it's bumps and curves, and it's random stop signs, but in the end you get to the same place you want to be. I'm not saying this year has been easy at all, because there have been some tough times even in the past month, but you know my mentality? It's high school. In 10, 20 hell maybe even in 5 years, I'll be looking back and laughing at my choices, or things I got completely angry about that were really just stupid. There is so much AFTER high school that there is no point in just sitting and sulking about what happens in these small insignificant three years of your life.
Well, not insignificant, because alot of your future is shaped by the choices you make now, but the small things that we all sweat over; boys, clothes, parties, bitch-fits, drama, it all just won't matter when we get our diplomas in June. We move on, and conquer new things.
I'm over the name calling and dramatic bitch-fits. Over the bullshit and boy-crazy mentality. I really, honestly and truly, just don't care anymore. If you don't like my shoes, then don't look at them. If you don't like my opinion on something, too bad, it's called an opinion for a reason. We are all people, and all individually different.
I'm not angry at anyone, simply just indifferent. I'm not going to waste my energy and time being angry at stupid things, rather I'm going to try anyway. No promises there, I could slip up a few times.
I sort of feel... at peace, with myself. I know what I want now, and I'm going for it. I know what person I want to be, and I'll make it there. I'm working hard, and I know it'll pay off.
I have no idea even if this blog post makes sense really, but my mind is pacing so fast that I felt like I had to get it all down. I'm pretty sure I forgot some points along the way, but oh well, it'll come to me at some point and I'll blog about it then. I'm going to get some sleep though loves.
when life hands you lemons, make your lemonade
little jay
I'm still alive, I swear.
I don't really have much to blog about these days, my life has been very repetitive.
Here's the schedule:
Here's the schedule:
- work
- sleep (I'm still not getting enough)
- school
I'm serious! LOL, it's kind of depressing actually. I have barely any time for anything else, but I know that when my grades are killer and my debit card is loaded (New York people.) It'll all pay off.
I know I've been slacking intensely with this blog, but really. I just don't know what to write about these days! I thought about starting a new story, but my head has been so tired from the lack of sleep that I haven't even decided if I want to or not. Then I thought about maybe adding some videos to my youtube account, but then realized that my camera doesn't focus and it would be extremely time consuming with filming and editing. Anyways, I have loads of homework to do. Maybe if I have time and strength later I'll blog again.
little jay
September 25, 2010
scatterbrained organization
I felt the need to write a blog post today. I don't give it enough TLC as it needs. :( Poor blog, being rejected and forgotten about amongst all the hectic things of life.
Initially, I didn't know what I was going to write about. But in the process of waiting for my laptops slower-than-a-snail internet to load up my page, I figured out a subject.
I don't remember if I've written about this SPECIFIC subject, and I'm really too lazy to go back and wait 50 years for my internet to load my blog posts so I can check, so just live with it! :)
I do know I've talked about wanting to help people (blog post: extreme makeover: life edition) but I don't think I've actually said how I seriously PLAN to, or what I've arranged for me to meet my general goal of helping people. I also know I haven't added anything to the self project in awhile, so this post can tie into that aswell.
For me, this year I want to have alot going on. When I'm busy it keeps me focused. Yes, I get deathly tired and sometimes cranky, but I don't slack and I stay completely ontop of things. First thing I signed up for, was to volunteer for the organization Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Basicaly what I'll be doing, is every Friday afternoon for about an hour I go to an elementary school and spend time with a child whose life isn't the greatest. Maybe they're sick, or have a horrible family life, but the point is to get their mind off their problems for even a little bit, and to guide them through.
Next thing I plan doing, is joining Peer Tutoring. Pretty much I'd just help a student in my school with a subject they're struggling in, that I do well in. Pretty straight forward and self-explanitory right? I also want to help out at soup kitchens or the food bank during the winter break, and HOPEFULLY (I don't know if it's allowed) be able to volunteer at the Children's Hospital. Another thing I definately want to do, is hand out presents to less fortunate kids around Christmas.
We're all humans, and we all need to help eachother out. Race, Colour, Social Status means nothing in the long run. So what I'm going to add to the Self Project, is:
GIVE BACK.
Give back to your family, friends, community, teachers, anything. Give back, or give in general not expecting something in return. Humans need to be more self-less, and trusting. We're all so paranoid with eachother that (i'll admit i've done this too) when someone is walking behind you on a street when you're alone, we walk faster or begin to panic, even if it's just slightly. We're all guilty of it. I'm not saying strike up a conversation with every stranger that passes you by, I'm just talking about saying hello, or good morning/afternoon/evening when you pass someone on the sidewalk.
I am a full-frontal believer on the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would want done to you" because it's true. Everything would be so much simpler if people weren't so judgemental, or criticizing. If you don't want someone to say that they hate your outfit, then don't say you hate the other persons outfit (small scale example, but still!).
Anyway, I'm completely beat. I've had a jam-packed weekend and I'm just going to cuddle up on my couch and watch a movie before bed. I'll blog again soon loves!
smile more,
little jay
Initially, I didn't know what I was going to write about. But in the process of waiting for my laptops slower-than-a-snail internet to load up my page, I figured out a subject.
I don't remember if I've written about this SPECIFIC subject, and I'm really too lazy to go back and wait 50 years for my internet to load my blog posts so I can check, so just live with it! :)
I do know I've talked about wanting to help people (blog post: extreme makeover: life edition) but I don't think I've actually said how I seriously PLAN to, or what I've arranged for me to meet my general goal of helping people. I also know I haven't added anything to the self project in awhile, so this post can tie into that aswell.
For me, this year I want to have alot going on. When I'm busy it keeps me focused. Yes, I get deathly tired and sometimes cranky, but I don't slack and I stay completely ontop of things. First thing I signed up for, was to volunteer for the organization Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Basicaly what I'll be doing, is every Friday afternoon for about an hour I go to an elementary school and spend time with a child whose life isn't the greatest. Maybe they're sick, or have a horrible family life, but the point is to get their mind off their problems for even a little bit, and to guide them through.
Next thing I plan doing, is joining Peer Tutoring. Pretty much I'd just help a student in my school with a subject they're struggling in, that I do well in. Pretty straight forward and self-explanitory right? I also want to help out at soup kitchens or the food bank during the winter break, and HOPEFULLY (I don't know if it's allowed) be able to volunteer at the Children's Hospital. Another thing I definately want to do, is hand out presents to less fortunate kids around Christmas.
We're all humans, and we all need to help eachother out. Race, Colour, Social Status means nothing in the long run. So what I'm going to add to the Self Project, is:
GIVE BACK.
Give back to your family, friends, community, teachers, anything. Give back, or give in general not expecting something in return. Humans need to be more self-less, and trusting. We're all so paranoid with eachother that (i'll admit i've done this too) when someone is walking behind you on a street when you're alone, we walk faster or begin to panic, even if it's just slightly. We're all guilty of it. I'm not saying strike up a conversation with every stranger that passes you by, I'm just talking about saying hello, or good morning/afternoon/evening when you pass someone on the sidewalk.
I am a full-frontal believer on the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would want done to you" because it's true. Everything would be so much simpler if people weren't so judgemental, or criticizing. If you don't want someone to say that they hate your outfit, then don't say you hate the other persons outfit (small scale example, but still!).
Anyway, I'm completely beat. I've had a jam-packed weekend and I'm just going to cuddle up on my couch and watch a movie before bed. I'll blog again soon loves!
smile more,
little jay
September 23, 2010
september: pimples, stress + school.
lalala! So, I haven't blogged in quite some time now.
The title of this blog actually has nothing to do with the blog entry itself....
Sorry I've been slacking, but now with school I'm determined to keep my marks above 85, because this year is extremely important. Also with work, I work all throughout my weekend, and when I'm not working I'm sleeping or really, doing homework. Not exactly the fun life going on here.
Although I feel like I don't have anything to talk about, I really do.
First of all, I think I have FINALLY figured out what I want to do with my life. Occupational wise anyway. I don't remeber if I've mentioned this, but I want to become a nurse. Then I began to think, why not go all the way? So here is my plan! I take a nursing degree for 4 years, and maintain a 3.5 or higher GPA (this will be killer, but I will work my butt off.) After graduating, I'd work in a hospital for a year or two to kind of get my feet on the ground. Afterwards, I'd move down to Calgary and go to Med School, and become a pediatrician. I always kind of had that dream at the back of my mind, but I never really thought I could achieve it. But now, I think I could if I really focus on it and work towards it. BUT we'll see how things go, right? Luckily I graduate at 17, and have some time to do everything.
Have I mentioned I am extremely excited for New York in March? Well, I'm extremely excited. Like, ecstatic to the point that when I got our flight times, I danced and skipped around my mom in the kitchen. I know, I'm lame.
Ohhhh myyy goooossshhhhh, I feel like I have so much to WRITE and I DO but I'm so tired to even write it... I think I'm going to go to sleep then blog again later on when I'm not falling over my keyboard. Yes, that is a smart choice.
Be cool, stay in school!
little jay
The title of this blog actually has nothing to do with the blog entry itself....
Sorry I've been slacking, but now with school I'm determined to keep my marks above 85, because this year is extremely important. Also with work, I work all throughout my weekend, and when I'm not working I'm sleeping or really, doing homework. Not exactly the fun life going on here.
Although I feel like I don't have anything to talk about, I really do.
First of all, I think I have FINALLY figured out what I want to do with my life. Occupational wise anyway. I don't remeber if I've mentioned this, but I want to become a nurse. Then I began to think, why not go all the way? So here is my plan! I take a nursing degree for 4 years, and maintain a 3.5 or higher GPA (this will be killer, but I will work my butt off.) After graduating, I'd work in a hospital for a year or two to kind of get my feet on the ground. Afterwards, I'd move down to Calgary and go to Med School, and become a pediatrician. I always kind of had that dream at the back of my mind, but I never really thought I could achieve it. But now, I think I could if I really focus on it and work towards it. BUT we'll see how things go, right? Luckily I graduate at 17, and have some time to do everything.
Have I mentioned I am extremely excited for New York in March? Well, I'm extremely excited. Like, ecstatic to the point that when I got our flight times, I danced and skipped around my mom in the kitchen. I know, I'm lame.
Ohhhh myyy goooossshhhhh, I feel like I have so much to WRITE and I DO but I'm so tired to even write it... I think I'm going to go to sleep then blog again later on when I'm not falling over my keyboard. Yes, that is a smart choice.
Be cool, stay in school!
little jay
September 9, 2010
"everything i need to know, i learnt in kindergarden"
Today in Religion class (I go to a catholic school), the teacher read us an article about this (the title). And for the most part, it's true. Play fair. Share. Don't hit people. The Golden Rule. Take Turns. Clean up your own mess. Everything we ever need to learn about ethics or morality, we learn in kindergarden or at an extremely young age. But then why is it, when we get older, we so easily stray from these things implemented in our brain? Why is it we get greeder, and selfish? How can a 5 year old child know better than someone whose a senior in High School?
My point?
One of my friends told me that this girl, who claims herself "popular", was thinking about planning safe grad only for popular people. For those of you who don't know what safe grad is, it's basically a huge bush-party where you party it out after graduation and prom except it's totally legal and protected and stuff. It's supposed to be the last horrah together as a graduating class, where cliques, drama and a social monoarchy is supposed to disappear; just for one night. The fact that this girl thinks that the rest of the 450 graduates are not "worthy" to attend this, is absolutely DISGUSTING. A 5 year old would be nicer about inviting kids to his BIRTHDAY party.
In a world where we're trying to change, how could we with mentalities like this? WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. We are all human beings. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear, what clique your in, who you hang out with, your skin color, music prefence, anything. That shouldn't stray a person's opinion on another person. I'm not innocent to this, I'll admit I've thought in my mind "oh my god, she's such a bitch." When I don't even KNOW the person, but I'm judging based on their friends, or whatever. But it has to stop-- and I'm determined to make it stop for me.
It's about time people just grow up, and mature. We need to come to compromises or things on a small scale or large will just completely blow out of proportion! If you don't like a person the first time, give them a second chance. People do change. If you don't like them the second time, then fine have your opinion, but don't rudely voice it out? And we, as high schoolers, expect people to treat us like grown adults? We're more immature than kids in KINDERGARDEN. I am completely going on a rampage here, but it's true. But it's not only high schoolers, no. It's Junior high kids, adults, government officials. It's everyone. It's like when we pass grade one, we automatically assume that there has to be a group for certain people, that there's a social monoarchy in school, cliques. We automatically begin to think that there is someone below us. Someone not good enough to hang out with us, or be our partner in a group assignment.
I'm not just going on this tangent because there might be a chance that I won't go to safe grad, a second one can easily be arranged for the other 450 students. That's not the point of this full on rant. We need to grow up. We need to stop being so narrow minded, so outwardly opinionated, so easily hateful, so easily MEAN. Seriously, if we all just had the morals of a 5 year old, you'd see; this world would be completely different.
My point?
One of my friends told me that this girl, who claims herself "popular", was thinking about planning safe grad only for popular people. For those of you who don't know what safe grad is, it's basically a huge bush-party where you party it out after graduation and prom except it's totally legal and protected and stuff. It's supposed to be the last horrah together as a graduating class, where cliques, drama and a social monoarchy is supposed to disappear; just for one night. The fact that this girl thinks that the rest of the 450 graduates are not "worthy" to attend this, is absolutely DISGUSTING. A 5 year old would be nicer about inviting kids to his BIRTHDAY party.
In a world where we're trying to change, how could we with mentalities like this? WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. We are all human beings. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear, what clique your in, who you hang out with, your skin color, music prefence, anything. That shouldn't stray a person's opinion on another person. I'm not innocent to this, I'll admit I've thought in my mind "oh my god, she's such a bitch." When I don't even KNOW the person, but I'm judging based on their friends, or whatever. But it has to stop-- and I'm determined to make it stop for me.
It's about time people just grow up, and mature. We need to come to compromises or things on a small scale or large will just completely blow out of proportion! If you don't like a person the first time, give them a second chance. People do change. If you don't like them the second time, then fine have your opinion, but don't rudely voice it out? And we, as high schoolers, expect people to treat us like grown adults? We're more immature than kids in KINDERGARDEN. I am completely going on a rampage here, but it's true. But it's not only high schoolers, no. It's Junior high kids, adults, government officials. It's everyone. It's like when we pass grade one, we automatically assume that there has to be a group for certain people, that there's a social monoarchy in school, cliques. We automatically begin to think that there is someone below us. Someone not good enough to hang out with us, or be our partner in a group assignment.
I'm not just going on this tangent because there might be a chance that I won't go to safe grad, a second one can easily be arranged for the other 450 students. That's not the point of this full on rant. We need to grow up. We need to stop being so narrow minded, so outwardly opinionated, so easily hateful, so easily MEAN. Seriously, if we all just had the morals of a 5 year old, you'd see; this world would be completely different.
September 4, 2010
deciding my future.
So, on the first day of senior year this week my grade advisor, Mr. Armstrong told our graduating class something that made me completely pee my pants. He said that University registration began around October 1st. For someone who hadn't even thought of what I wanted to do WITH my life (too seriously anyway), this was a complete wake-up call. In 3 weeks, I basically have to decide what I want to do with my life.
I wanted to go to Vancouver, UBC for awhile now. But I was looking up approximations for tuition, fees and housing.... I would be paying $18, 726 a year. I could never afford that without a student loan, and I really don't want to have to use a student loan.
So now I'm looking at my second option: U of A.
I was looking online again, and have come up with an idea.
I've always liked arts, so I was thinking to maybe get a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in english and psycology. Then maybe transfering into the faculty of Education. Of course I have to still talk to the Career Counsellor at school, but this is just an idea flopping around my head. :)
Sorry for the lack of blogs!
I wanted to go to Vancouver, UBC for awhile now. But I was looking up approximations for tuition, fees and housing.... I would be paying $18, 726 a year. I could never afford that without a student loan, and I really don't want to have to use a student loan.
So now I'm looking at my second option: U of A.
I was looking online again, and have come up with an idea.
I've always liked arts, so I was thinking to maybe get a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in english and psycology. Then maybe transfering into the faculty of Education. Of course I have to still talk to the Career Counsellor at school, but this is just an idea flopping around my head. :)
Sorry for the lack of blogs!
August 21, 2010
rambles galore
Wow, I haven't blogged in 10 days.
Anyway, let's fill you in :)! First off, I've been working almost every single evening. I really need the money, and when school starts, I'm considering getting a second, easy job like a cashier or something for two shifts a week, just so there's some more money coming in. Second, last weekend my best friend, Brittany and I, threw our other best friend Jenna a surprise birthday party! It was so exciting and she loved it, which was even better.
Other than that, I've just been prepping myself for back to school. I went school supplies shopping, got some new clothes, compeletly cleaned out my desk AND closet (color-coordinated, hello.) AND my make-up collection AND shoes. :) It's so I start grade 12 with a non-cluttered life, because clutter causes stress and I really don't want stress.
It hasn't occured to me that this is grade 12, graduation year. That after this, it's university and the "real world". It'll probably occur to me at the most random time, and with how emotional I've been lately (I cry over every movie I see.), I will probably spontaneously burst into tears about it, now whether they'll be happy or sad, that I don't know. I also started drawing again, so that's a plus! What else can I tell you... What else, what else, what else.
I'm drawing a blank, but overall I've been majority positive. I mean, I've had my mood swings where I'm down and grouchy, or sad and confused, but who doesn't have those days? They're lessening slowly, and soon I hope they become rarer than rare. :)
That's all for now!
enjoy the last part of summer,
little jay
Anyway, let's fill you in :)! First off, I've been working almost every single evening. I really need the money, and when school starts, I'm considering getting a second, easy job like a cashier or something for two shifts a week, just so there's some more money coming in. Second, last weekend my best friend, Brittany and I, threw our other best friend Jenna a surprise birthday party! It was so exciting and she loved it, which was even better.
Other than that, I've just been prepping myself for back to school. I went school supplies shopping, got some new clothes, compeletly cleaned out my desk AND closet (color-coordinated, hello.) AND my make-up collection AND shoes. :) It's so I start grade 12 with a non-cluttered life, because clutter causes stress and I really don't want stress.
It hasn't occured to me that this is grade 12, graduation year. That after this, it's university and the "real world". It'll probably occur to me at the most random time, and with how emotional I've been lately (I cry over every movie I see.), I will probably spontaneously burst into tears about it, now whether they'll be happy or sad, that I don't know. I also started drawing again, so that's a plus! What else can I tell you... What else, what else, what else.
I'm drawing a blank, but overall I've been majority positive. I mean, I've had my mood swings where I'm down and grouchy, or sad and confused, but who doesn't have those days? They're lessening slowly, and soon I hope they become rarer than rare. :)
That's all for now!
enjoy the last part of summer,
little jay
August 11, 2010
extreme makeover: my life edition
Last night I was watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. That show makes me completely bawl my eyes out and feel so lucky and blessed to have the life I do. It also makes me think.
The episode last night was a family whose 14 year old daughter, Lizzie, lived on donated blood due to a rare blood disorder that basically made the blood her body made, not work in her body. She would get two transfusions a month, and had an extremely weak immune system. Their family home had termites, black mold, snakes, and the house was sinking into the Earth which was proven by all these massive cracks in the foundation.
I watch Extreme Makeover on a regular basis (it is one of my favorite shows), but never has there been an episode that I've seen at least, with a girl that had such a bad health problem so close to my age. She was alot like me too. She loved fashion, sketching, and just looking at peoples outfits seeing how the clothes, colours, patterns, silhouettes and everything would tie together. Extreme Makeover makes me realize alot of things when I watch, but this one inspired me. It inspired me to make a list of all the things I want to do with my life to make it better, and make me a happier person. One of the things on the list: Be apart of something bigger than myself.
I was googling some habitat for humanity stuff, like volunteer opportunities. I found that there's an opportunity close to my house, that has just begun or begins in the next couple weeks. I think it'd be amazing to help build a house for someone. I love the reactions of the people when their house is unveiled, and if we're being honest I always cry. I'd love to see that in person, and know that even if it was a small part, I helped. Of course I have to talk to my parents, and if the habitat for humanity thing doesn't work, I want to commit to volunteering atleast once or twice a week. I just want to help out more, make a change even if its only to one person.
I promised myself I wouldn't be lazy this year, and actually achieve the goals I set for myself. I began with my getting healthy (eating healthy, jogs, excersise), and now I want to help out the community. If we don't help eachother out, who will?
The episode last night was a family whose 14 year old daughter, Lizzie, lived on donated blood due to a rare blood disorder that basically made the blood her body made, not work in her body. She would get two transfusions a month, and had an extremely weak immune system. Their family home had termites, black mold, snakes, and the house was sinking into the Earth which was proven by all these massive cracks in the foundation.
I watch Extreme Makeover on a regular basis (it is one of my favorite shows), but never has there been an episode that I've seen at least, with a girl that had such a bad health problem so close to my age. She was alot like me too. She loved fashion, sketching, and just looking at peoples outfits seeing how the clothes, colours, patterns, silhouettes and everything would tie together. Extreme Makeover makes me realize alot of things when I watch, but this one inspired me. It inspired me to make a list of all the things I want to do with my life to make it better, and make me a happier person. One of the things on the list: Be apart of something bigger than myself.
I was googling some habitat for humanity stuff, like volunteer opportunities. I found that there's an opportunity close to my house, that has just begun or begins in the next couple weeks. I think it'd be amazing to help build a house for someone. I love the reactions of the people when their house is unveiled, and if we're being honest I always cry. I'd love to see that in person, and know that even if it was a small part, I helped. Of course I have to talk to my parents, and if the habitat for humanity thing doesn't work, I want to commit to volunteering atleast once or twice a week. I just want to help out more, make a change even if its only to one person.
I promised myself I wouldn't be lazy this year, and actually achieve the goals I set for myself. I began with my getting healthy (eating healthy, jogs, excersise), and now I want to help out the community. If we don't help eachother out, who will?
August 10, 2010
a moment
Life is filled with moments. Some happy, some sad, some we don't want to remember, and others we never want to forget. Sometimes we capture these moments on camera, others stay forever imbedded in the mind.
I love moments. I love the moments where even though things can be falling apart, that one single second where I feel completely happy and free. Even though it didn't last long, and the second I hit the ground again its a rush of reality to your head. The one second was worth it. I can't explain it, but looking back at the picture, it's that person I want to be. The person I wish I was everyday of my life, the person I'm working towards being.It was my little inspiration of the day when I saw this picture.
August 9, 2010
the money tree
I woke up this morning feeling extremely.... productive. First, I'm going to try my yoga dvd (after this blog post!), next I am going jogging with my friend Crystal, and THEN going to do my lemon-face wash. :) I just feel like doing a lot with my day today, so there will probably be more to that little to-do list, but that's just the basics.
I also had a little realization this morning as I was thinking and walking my dog. MONEY. I've always been one to love to go shopping, and have everything she wants. But as I'm working to save up for a car/NYC/Grad/University/Portugal, I realized that money is alot. I'm turning 17 in October, and I don't feel it's right for my parents to pay for everything I do, buy or use. In one year, I'll probably have my own place and going to school, and if I don't learn how to manage and save my money, when will I? I'm not 5 years old anymore, and I just feel horrible when my mom or dad spend alot of money on me, or even some at that. I always offer to pay back, but they almost always refuse. But still. These next few years are going to be financially difficult, because I go into University next fall, and that in itself is a ton of money. I also would like a cheap, used car which I would pay 2/3 of it myself, plus pay for my own gas and hopefully insurance depending on how much it is. Then there's the New York trip Spring Break, AND the Portugal trip next summer. All that takes alot of money, and I don't want my parents to keep spending on me, but rather save up, while I do the same thing.
I've decided that next year, I won't go back to dancing. Doing one dance alone, almost added up to 2,000. I don't want to be a dancer, or anything in the dancing feild, so 2,000 is a bunch of money. Instead I'm thinking of maybe g a gym membership. I can take classes at the gym, work out, AND it saves my parents 500-600 dollars in a year, or more I haven't crunched numbers yet. My shopping and make-up addiction can be put on pause. I just need a few fall/winter iteams, and I'll be good. I'm also thinking of getting a second job, just kind of on the side on days I have off.
This year I have to focus on money saving, and school. Hopefully I can score some scholarships to help out for post-secondary. I'm not slacking anymore. I'm going to study for my tests, do my homework, and pay attention in class. I'm going to try my hardest, and be the best I can be in courses. Relaxation is over, and I need to get into routine and good habits for university.
Anyway, that's my two-cents in a tangent today. :) Hope it made sense!
be productive,
little jay
I also had a little realization this morning as I was thinking and walking my dog. MONEY. I've always been one to love to go shopping, and have everything she wants. But as I'm working to save up for a car/NYC/Grad/University/Portugal, I realized that money is alot. I'm turning 17 in October, and I don't feel it's right for my parents to pay for everything I do, buy or use. In one year, I'll probably have my own place and going to school, and if I don't learn how to manage and save my money, when will I? I'm not 5 years old anymore, and I just feel horrible when my mom or dad spend alot of money on me, or even some at that. I always offer to pay back, but they almost always refuse. But still. These next few years are going to be financially difficult, because I go into University next fall, and that in itself is a ton of money. I also would like a cheap, used car which I would pay 2/3 of it myself, plus pay for my own gas and hopefully insurance depending on how much it is. Then there's the New York trip Spring Break, AND the Portugal trip next summer. All that takes alot of money, and I don't want my parents to keep spending on me, but rather save up, while I do the same thing.
I've decided that next year, I won't go back to dancing. Doing one dance alone, almost added up to 2,000. I don't want to be a dancer, or anything in the dancing feild, so 2,000 is a bunch of money. Instead I'm thinking of maybe g a gym membership. I can take classes at the gym, work out, AND it saves my parents 500-600 dollars in a year, or more I haven't crunched numbers yet. My shopping and make-up addiction can be put on pause. I just need a few fall/winter iteams, and I'll be good. I'm also thinking of getting a second job, just kind of on the side on days I have off.
This year I have to focus on money saving, and school. Hopefully I can score some scholarships to help out for post-secondary. I'm not slacking anymore. I'm going to study for my tests, do my homework, and pay attention in class. I'm going to try my hardest, and be the best I can be in courses. Relaxation is over, and I need to get into routine and good habits for university.
Anyway, that's my two-cents in a tangent today. :) Hope it made sense!
be productive,
little jay
August 2, 2010
when life gives you lemons...
Hey lovelies, :)
So, the other day I came across this amazing skin idea. I kind of have tempermental skin. Sometimes it decides to love me, and other times it just decides to venture into pimplezit-land. If we're being honest, most of the time I am way too lazy to stick to a skin routine (although I do have clinique and proactiv).
Then another thing, alot of skin cleansers have sulfates in them. Only recently did it come to my attention that in literally 99% of my skin products had "sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate" or parabens, or just things that in the long run are harmful to my skin. For those of you who don't know, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is a cleaner that's used to clean car engines. Yup. So unless we've turn into automotives, I really don't think it's necessary to put that on my skin! Even my "organic" apricot scrub had it! I was completely shocked at the amount of products I use contain it! So I began my search for a simple, easy way to clean my skin.
Lemon Juice, Sugar & a Cotton pad. That's what my skin regime has become. It's so easy, and it makes your skin feel craaaazy soft. Lemons have BHA (beta hydroxy acid) and AHA (alpha dyroxy acid) which both do wonders for your skin, especially AHA which is basically a skin improver that unclogs pores, enhances skin cell renewal and makes it appear more glowy and beautiful. So here's the steps I do!
So, the other day I came across this amazing skin idea. I kind of have tempermental skin. Sometimes it decides to love me, and other times it just decides to venture into pimplezit-land. If we're being honest, most of the time I am way too lazy to stick to a skin routine (although I do have clinique and proactiv).
Then another thing, alot of skin cleansers have sulfates in them. Only recently did it come to my attention that in literally 99% of my skin products had "sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate" or parabens, or just things that in the long run are harmful to my skin. For those of you who don't know, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is a cleaner that's used to clean car engines. Yup. So unless we've turn into automotives, I really don't think it's necessary to put that on my skin! Even my "organic" apricot scrub had it! I was completely shocked at the amount of products I use contain it! So I began my search for a simple, easy way to clean my skin.
Lemon Juice, Sugar & a Cotton pad. That's what my skin regime has become. It's so easy, and it makes your skin feel craaaazy soft. Lemons have BHA (beta hydroxy acid) and AHA (alpha dyroxy acid) which both do wonders for your skin, especially AHA which is basically a skin improver that unclogs pores, enhances skin cell renewal and makes it appear more glowy and beautiful. So here's the steps I do!
- have a clean, make up-less fresh face and wash it with warm water so it opens up your pores
- take your cotton pad, and soak it in lemon juice, preferably organic since your skin does absorb whatever you clean it with. Or you can even just squeeze fresh lemons onto the pad
- take about a teaspoon of sugar and put it on the pad
- start scrubbing around your face, and let the lemon-y goodness work its' magic!
- if the stinging is too much for your face, you can dilute the lemon juice with some water.
- after you've scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed, wash it off with warm water and feel how soft your skin is!
Remember, this isn't a full proof process and even I still have broken out afterwards but in my case it's been noticiably less. But it's been a great skin routine for the past few days. :) Definately reccommed to try it out!
love and lemons,
littel jay.
July 29, 2010
hey jude - the beatles
If you're wondering about the title, it was during this song I had my little trip realizations. :) I have a new found passion and love for The Beatles and they've quickly taken the spot as my favorite band. Anyway, now to the real blog post!
It's been awhile since I added a number to the list of things to do (that I'm doing) to change my outlook of life. I think it's because these changes don't happen all over night, and it's a process in itself. Well, today that wait is over!
Our list so far consists of:
It's been awhile since I added a number to the list of things to do (that I'm doing) to change my outlook of life. I think it's because these changes don't happen all over night, and it's a process in itself. Well, today that wait is over!
Our list so far consists of:
- De-Clutter your life
- Apologize for mistakes
Today I'm going to be adding two more "steps" I guess you could call them, to the little check list. I'll write them down, then explain.
- Take a break
- Test your limits
Before I left for vacation, I was competely sick of this city. I absolutely hated it with an unexplainable passion. I was pretty much just smiling because I had to, laughing because someone expected me too, and just not being myself. I wasn't really getting anywhere with changing my outlook other than the two steps I had done, and was clenching my teeth and biting my tongue on a regular basis. I needed a mental break, and just a period of time to chill out.
BC was good to me, gave me a breath of fresh air. Sometimes all people need is just a break. I know you can't always just be like "peace, I'm going on vacation" but taking a break, doesnt mean you have to physically leave your town or city. Taking a break can simply mean, giving yourself some "me" time. Instead of going out somewhere where you know someone will piss you off, opt to stay home and just lounge around watching a movie or something. If you're having a tough time with someone at work or school, just focus on what tasks you have to do rather than getting all riled up, the reward you get feels amazing. Trust me, I put alot of my energy into my summer math course, and I loved the results. Give yourself a break; sit down, close your eyes and just clear your head, even if it's only for a few minutes those minutes do add up!
People live their lives so fast paced, that before you know it time has gone and the things you want to do can't be done anymore. This is why I put testing your limits after take a break. If we're going to be honest, I don't know how this would work for other people, but thinking about it now "trying something new" can go hand in hand with it. So I'm re-making this last one:
- Test your limits, try something new
While on my break, I did both of these. I tested one of my fears and went head to head against it; my fear of heights. I also tied it with trying something new, and challenged parasailing. Being catapulted 200 ft in the air was not something old me would really enjoy or do.
Testing your limits doesn't have to be something huge, and you can easily hit that and trying something new on the same try. It could be something like, strike up a conversation with someone at the new coffee shop you tried out. Break away from your daily routine for one day, and see how it treats you. If it goes badly, start with something smaller like for example, if you usually wear nude lipstick, try a bold color! You'll undoubtedly get tons of compliments, and a little boost to your self esteem. There's tons of little ways to try something new and step out of your box alittle bit.
If we only have one life to live, why should we live it in the same routine everyday? Hope this helped, :) and if anyone has any questions don't hesitate to comment or email!
don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better, :)
little jay
July 26, 2010
out of hiding: my trip to BC!
Hello hello beautiful people!
Wow, it's been quite some time since I wrote a legit blog hey? I had that little "I-don't-know-what-to-write" phase, then I had mini vacation to British Columbia for a week. :) But now I am back, and completely ready to go! This post will mostly be about what went down on the trip, so prepare for a long one. I did have some little realizations throughout the 7 days, but I'll post those in a later blog.
Here we go. :)
So, since I live in Alberta, the drive to where I was camping in BC, Osoyoos, is only about a 10 hour car ride. Such. A. Lie. Brittany's dad decided to be Mr. Speedy McSpeederton and cut off cars to the point that we lost him on the highway. Since there was no reception in the mountains, we just went the way we THOUGHT he would go. Turns out, my dad decided to take the way that left us in the car for around 16-18 hours! Normally, I wouldn't mind this since annually my family drives from Switzerland to Portugal which is a 24 hour drive, but the view this whole roadtrip was freaking pine trees. EVERYWHERE. This is no joke, I have never seen so many pine trees in my life. In Prince George, we saw a man dressed as Elvis rocking out on the sidewalk, and that was about the only interesting scenery along this little car ride.
When my family got to our campsite, it was late so we set up our tent, filled up our air mattresses and slept. I was sleep deprived, and proceeded to cry when my dad began snoring like a rhino which lead to the purpose of my handy-dandy ear plugs the next day! :)
Anyway, the next morning we hit the local beach in Osoyoos. It was great, the sun was shining, blue sky and water. I love love love the heat, I guess that's the Portugese side of me, but I absolutely adore it. Brittany and I went for a walk along the beach, and discovered a place where they had parasailing! Of course with the excitment of being on vacation, we signed ourselves up. Surprisingly our parents agreed it would be a fun experience, and on we went to get a little lecture on what to do. Right before being catapulted into the air, I stupidly turn to the guy helping us and ask "what happens, if a bird flys into our parachute?" He looked at me like that was the craziest thing ever, and said it had never happened. But how did I know that?! We might as well could've been the first. The second we were lifted into the air, I screamed like a 4 year old. But as soon as that shock of being up 200 ft in the air was over, it was completely amazing and I never wanted it to end.
Sadly, the geese arn't afraid of swimming up to you aswell. I was so afraid they were going to attack us, that I ducked into my floaty boat until they passed. On our little canal float, it started to rain and the wind picked up. Really, it was getting freezing and we were just chilling in our little bikinis. We proceeded to paddle and paddle and paddle and paddle for what seemed like forever until we reached the end of the canal. That night we went to a family friend's house in the town of Oliver, and went to Tickleberry's! Which has 72 different flavours of ice cream, and even ice cream for dogs. It was absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely delicious!
On Friday, the last day, we stuck around in Osoyoos and hit the beach there again. That night there was going to be a "street-dance" thing that they hold semi-annually in the summer. We showed up, and literally it was all country music. Brittany and I were completely out of our element, LOL until we just decided "who cares?!" and danced. After awhile, we made some friends and went for a walk. Brittany and her friend, well, thats a story in itself and not mine to tell! But mine, Jessy, was completely awkward. LOL. We talked about how my school has 1500 kids, and his has 240, and basically I just texted the whole time. Ultimately, it was a fun last night.
Saturday morning we left, and did a 13 hour trip back home. I really didn't want to leave, and I still don't want to be here and would go back in a heartbeat. I loved it that much. But anyway, that was a massive ramble, but it was the highlight of my summer vacation so far. :)
Stay tuned for more blogs!
Hope you're having a safe summer,
little jay.
Wow, it's been quite some time since I wrote a legit blog hey? I had that little "I-don't-know-what-to-write" phase, then I had mini vacation to British Columbia for a week. :) But now I am back, and completely ready to go! This post will mostly be about what went down on the trip, so prepare for a long one. I did have some little realizations throughout the 7 days, but I'll post those in a later blog.
Here we go. :)
So, since I live in Alberta, the drive to where I was camping in BC, Osoyoos, is only about a 10 hour car ride. Such. A. Lie. Brittany's dad decided to be Mr. Speedy McSpeederton and cut off cars to the point that we lost him on the highway. Since there was no reception in the mountains, we just went the way we THOUGHT he would go. Turns out, my dad decided to take the way that left us in the car for around 16-18 hours! Normally, I wouldn't mind this since annually my family drives from Switzerland to Portugal which is a 24 hour drive, but the view this whole roadtrip was freaking pine trees. EVERYWHERE. This is no joke, I have never seen so many pine trees in my life. In Prince George, we saw a man dressed as Elvis rocking out on the sidewalk, and that was about the only interesting scenery along this little car ride.
When my family got to our campsite, it was late so we set up our tent, filled up our air mattresses and slept. I was sleep deprived, and proceeded to cry when my dad began snoring like a rhino which lead to the purpose of my handy-dandy ear plugs the next day! :)Anyway, the next morning we hit the local beach in Osoyoos. It was great, the sun was shining, blue sky and water. I love love love the heat, I guess that's the Portugese side of me, but I absolutely adore it. Brittany and I went for a walk along the beach, and discovered a place where they had parasailing! Of course with the excitment of being on vacation, we signed ourselves up. Surprisingly our parents agreed it would be a fun experience, and on we went to get a little lecture on what to do. Right before being catapulted into the air, I stupidly turn to the guy helping us and ask "what happens, if a bird flys into our parachute?" He looked at me like that was the craziest thing ever, and said it had never happened. But how did I know that?! We might as well could've been the first. The second we were lifted into the air, I screamed like a 4 year old. But as soon as that shock of being up 200 ft in the air was over, it was completely amazing and I never wanted it to end.
When we went to land, the guy had told us that you had to keep walking on the ground when you hit, and that there would be alot of impact. Brittany failed at this. When we landed, the impact was so much Brittany tripped over her own feet, causing me to trip over her, which resulted in both of us dragging along the sand as the crew of people tried to steady us. Of course, I was too busy peeing my pants laughing at the fact we had just had a crash landing to pay attention to anything they were saying.
After our parasailing adventure, we laid on the beach a little bit. Later on, we decided to be daredevils again (LOL) and went banana boating! Again, as the guy was telling us the "procedure", I turn and ask "So basically, what you're trying to say is don't let go, and hold on for your life." I think those workers thought I was an idiot, but whaaatever. On our little banana boat adventure, I kept telling the guy to go faster and it was super fun. :) We got alot of air when he would do turns, but I'm dumb and didn't know how to lean on the turns. LOL.
That was day one, the most jam-packed day ever. To think of it, this vacation was jam-packed.
The second day, we went to a beach that allowed dogs, since Daisy & Snoopy came along. This beach, I have no words to describe it. The water had seaweed beyond belief, just growing at the bottom. Brittany and I went floating, and we ended up stranded among them because neither of us wanted the seaweed getting stuck between our fingers and toes as we paddled away! Atleast I learned my dog loves to swim, he's going to be the next Michael Phelps (dog form.)
On the Tuesday, which was the third day, our families went to Penticton. Since it was cloudy that day, Brittany, My mom, Brittany's mom, and I all decided to go shopping since their was a little street that resembled Whyte Ave. Everything is ridiculously expensive. I found this adorable strapless floral dress, for like $60. I know for some people that's cheap, but I don't see the justification of spending that much on a dress I can get cheaper somewhere else!
On Wednesday, we hit up Penticton again, but this time for the beach. On the drive there, Brittany's dad decided to take a detour into the mountains. Basically, we ended up finding this astrological institute with tons of telescopes and stuff. After the little detour, we got to the beach and I met up with one of my friend's from Vancouver, Triza. :) It was cool, we went swimming and walked around for a bit until she had to leave. I also almost drowned swimming to a slide that seemed much much muuuuch closer than it really was. =.
Thursday, we hit up Penticton, AGAIN. But this time it was to float down the river canal. It was so cute, the little ducks arn't afraid to swim up to the floaties! I wanted to steal them all.
Sadly, the geese arn't afraid of swimming up to you aswell. I was so afraid they were going to attack us, that I ducked into my floaty boat until they passed. On our little canal float, it started to rain and the wind picked up. Really, it was getting freezing and we were just chilling in our little bikinis. We proceeded to paddle and paddle and paddle and paddle for what seemed like forever until we reached the end of the canal. That night we went to a family friend's house in the town of Oliver, and went to Tickleberry's! Which has 72 different flavours of ice cream, and even ice cream for dogs. It was absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely delicious!On Friday, the last day, we stuck around in Osoyoos and hit the beach there again. That night there was going to be a "street-dance" thing that they hold semi-annually in the summer. We showed up, and literally it was all country music. Brittany and I were completely out of our element, LOL until we just decided "who cares?!" and danced. After awhile, we made some friends and went for a walk. Brittany and her friend, well, thats a story in itself and not mine to tell! But mine, Jessy, was completely awkward. LOL. We talked about how my school has 1500 kids, and his has 240, and basically I just texted the whole time. Ultimately, it was a fun last night.
Saturday morning we left, and did a 13 hour trip back home. I really didn't want to leave, and I still don't want to be here and would go back in a heartbeat. I loved it that much. But anyway, that was a massive ramble, but it was the highlight of my summer vacation so far. :)
Stay tuned for more blogs!
Hope you're having a safe summer,
little jay.
July 13, 2010
Poll Result & Update.
So today the poll for the interactive story page closed,
and the results are a definate yes. :) I'm excited to start it, and after I blog I'll go start up the page, put down the things I've written for the story so far.
I'm still not really in "my zone" I guess you could call it for blogging, but I think it'll be good to start up again. I took a little break, focused on some other things and we'll see how this goes from here.
What have I been up tooo...
Well, First the job. I love it. It's so unpredictable with the variety of people that work there and the people that go eat there. It's a completely different atmosphere than my old job, and the leaders (managers) are really understanding and lenient. It's really fast paced which ironically I love. I go there and just focus on the task given to me and it completely takes my mind off things. I've had two shifts so far and I can't wait to work more.
Secondly, Summer Schoooool. Booo. No one likes to have to wake up early during their summer vacation and go work through some school modules. I've come to learn I work pretty well under pressure, considering I'm standing at a mark above an 85. Compared to the 4 month earned 63, I think it's quite the improvement. But we never know how the last few modules, midterm and final are going to be, so fingers crossed. I figured out that I actually need to ask questions, something I never do in class.
Also, in 4 days I'll be going to the lovely and warm British Columbia for a week of camping with my family, and second family. :) I'm super duper excited considering right now, Edmonton weather is being bipolar. It'll be all sunny and pretty one minute, then the next its like torrential rainfall and depressing gray skies. It'll be good to get away from everything for a few days, especially with my best friend. If I was to be stuck in a 10 hour car-ride with my brother who whistles like its going out of style, I think I would end up in a mental hospital. So I'm super glad her family is coming along.
You should check out her blog too peoples.
I must be off though, math is calling my name sadly.
little jay
Brittany's Blog: http://www.projectbeexoxo.blogspot.com/
and the results are a definate yes. :) I'm excited to start it, and after I blog I'll go start up the page, put down the things I've written for the story so far.
I'm still not really in "my zone" I guess you could call it for blogging, but I think it'll be good to start up again. I took a little break, focused on some other things and we'll see how this goes from here.
What have I been up tooo...
Well, First the job. I love it. It's so unpredictable with the variety of people that work there and the people that go eat there. It's a completely different atmosphere than my old job, and the leaders (managers) are really understanding and lenient. It's really fast paced which ironically I love. I go there and just focus on the task given to me and it completely takes my mind off things. I've had two shifts so far and I can't wait to work more.
Secondly, Summer Schoooool. Booo. No one likes to have to wake up early during their summer vacation and go work through some school modules. I've come to learn I work pretty well under pressure, considering I'm standing at a mark above an 85. Compared to the 4 month earned 63, I think it's quite the improvement. But we never know how the last few modules, midterm and final are going to be, so fingers crossed. I figured out that I actually need to ask questions, something I never do in class.
Also, in 4 days I'll be going to the lovely and warm British Columbia for a week of camping with my family, and second family. :) I'm super duper excited considering right now, Edmonton weather is being bipolar. It'll be all sunny and pretty one minute, then the next its like torrential rainfall and depressing gray skies. It'll be good to get away from everything for a few days, especially with my best friend. If I was to be stuck in a 10 hour car-ride with my brother who whistles like its going out of style, I think I would end up in a mental hospital. So I'm super glad her family is coming along.
You should check out her blog too peoples.
I must be off though, math is calling my name sadly.
little jay
Brittany's Blog: http://www.projectbeexoxo.blogspot.com/
July 6, 2010
update.
So, clearly as you see. I haven't been in the mood to blog the past few days.
There has been some hectic stuff going on, some mentioned in my previous posts.
For one, I'm in summer school. I'm re-taking Math 30 since I didn't get the mark I was aiming for the first time.
Secondly, as you all know, I got a job! This week has been training week, so my schedule has been off the wall. Here's a little look into my day:
6:30 am: wake up
8:30 am: Summer School!
9:30 or 10:30 am: leave to go to job training
10 or 11 am: Job training starts!
2 or 3: Job training ends
3-9: completely do modules, study training stuff for a big employee test.
Although it doesn't look like alot, it can get quite overwhelming. Especially with how intense this training is, literally you cover every single aspect of being a hostess. (For those of you not knowing, I got the job at Earl's Restraunt as a hostess/ assistant server)
I don't really know when I'll be in the mood to blog, to be honest. I don't want to just write down complete bull in this blog, and actually want to mean what I say and make it mean something. I'll come back with fresh ideas, and blog more than ever!
until further notice,
little jay.
There has been some hectic stuff going on, some mentioned in my previous posts.
For one, I'm in summer school. I'm re-taking Math 30 since I didn't get the mark I was aiming for the first time.
Secondly, as you all know, I got a job! This week has been training week, so my schedule has been off the wall. Here's a little look into my day:
6:30 am: wake up
8:30 am: Summer School!
9:30 or 10:30 am: leave to go to job training
10 or 11 am: Job training starts!
2 or 3: Job training ends
3-9: completely do modules, study training stuff for a big employee test.
Although it doesn't look like alot, it can get quite overwhelming. Especially with how intense this training is, literally you cover every single aspect of being a hostess. (For those of you not knowing, I got the job at Earl's Restraunt as a hostess/ assistant server)
I don't really know when I'll be in the mood to blog, to be honest. I don't want to just write down complete bull in this blog, and actually want to mean what I say and make it mean something. I'll come back with fresh ideas, and blog more than ever!
until further notice,
little jay.
June 29, 2010
New Blog Idea:
Hey lovelies,
So I came up with this idea that I thought was pretty cool. As you see in the right link sidebar, I already have a page for poetry and art. I was thinking, what if I made an interactive book? I've been writing this unknown story for awhile now, and I haven't looked at it in MONTHS, but tonight I was reading it and I'd like to start on it again. But my issue, is I do not get inspired, whatsoever. Maybe this plan will go down the drain, but it's a thought hey?
The concept behind this page would be that as I write, you see every single step of the way. My ideas developing, what I put in, take out, all that stuff. Then YOU guys can pitch in ideas or events or something and I'll take them into consideration and add them in if appropriate! I think it'd be pretty cool and hands on, so let me know what you think! I'll create a poll, and we'll see what the votes come out to in let's say...2-3 weeks-ish? I'll post a little except from the story below, and then you guys can all get voting.
Update: Voting will close July 13th, 2010 at 12:00 PM Moutain Time (US & Canada)
pitchin' ideas,
little jay.
Untitled:
So I came up with this idea that I thought was pretty cool. As you see in the right link sidebar, I already have a page for poetry and art. I was thinking, what if I made an interactive book? I've been writing this unknown story for awhile now, and I haven't looked at it in MONTHS, but tonight I was reading it and I'd like to start on it again. But my issue, is I do not get inspired, whatsoever. Maybe this plan will go down the drain, but it's a thought hey?
The concept behind this page would be that as I write, you see every single step of the way. My ideas developing, what I put in, take out, all that stuff. Then YOU guys can pitch in ideas or events or something and I'll take them into consideration and add them in if appropriate! I think it'd be pretty cool and hands on, so let me know what you think! I'll create a poll, and we'll see what the votes come out to in let's say...2-3 weeks-ish? I'll post a little except from the story below, and then you guys can all get voting.
Update: Voting will close July 13th, 2010 at 12:00 PM Moutain Time (US & Canada)
pitchin' ideas,
little jay.
Untitled:
The best part about Heaven wasn't that you were free. Or the fact everyone was equal in status, or the angels. No, it was that you could look back into your old life, and hear what other people were thinking, in any situation you wanted. YOU could read their minds. You can figure out exactly what they thought about you, and if they cared. It's harsh, but you wouldn't believe how many people are just nice on the outside, and who are really judging you on the inside. But that wasn't the only perk. Here, second chances are basically a law.
In Heaven there were some things you didn't expect. Just like that here, you took a number. It wasn't like a prison number, no, far beyond that. Just ask yourself this simple question.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Well my friends, it exists. When my number was called up, I'd be evaluated. If I made the cut, I was reincarnated to whatever they'd make me. An animal, human, anything, you name it; and here YOU thought dogs didn't go to heaven.
If I passed the evaluation, I would be granted to live again; on the condition that I was made to forget anything or anyone I had in my previous life.
Since thousands die, and thousands more are born each day; my number would call soon.
Heaven is all about second chances, and everyone was given one, including me.
My name is Alessia Rosi, and my number was 10 956.
It was just a matter of waiting.
June 26, 2010
Disclaimer:
Apperantly it seems like that a few of my blogs have been directed to a person, or to a group of people. This is not what I am insinuating with these blog posts. Yes, blogs are based on personal experience and situations the blogger confronts, but it is also observation. Such as, my last blog post "Ramble & Realization" was based on the observation of the party I went to last night. Two girls were constantly talking about the other girls at the party, including the birthday girl, and it came to the point that the birthday girl took away everyones phones until the morning. It is also based on past experience, and yes a few recent observations, but never will my blogs be strictly about ONE person in particular, unless I make it that way with their names.
I have had several blogs in the past, and I have had to take each and every one of them down due to this very problem. I am not making any "hidden implications" towards a person, their emotions, beleifs, experiences, situations, nothing of that. I do take alot into account when I publish these blog posts, because I don't want anyone to be offended or feel as if they are being the punchline of the post. If it has appeared this way, this is not intentional by any means, and I do aplogize.
I am trying to write in this blog with a positive light, and what is being interpreted is not what I would like it to be.
If anyone has any other problems with my blog posts, or if this seems to be the case when you read my posts, please contact me immediately. Contact is in the "Contact" link on the right-side bar. Or even comment at this blog.
Genuine Apologies to those affected,
Joana (aka. Little Jay)
I have had several blogs in the past, and I have had to take each and every one of them down due to this very problem. I am not making any "hidden implications" towards a person, their emotions, beleifs, experiences, situations, nothing of that. I do take alot into account when I publish these blog posts, because I don't want anyone to be offended or feel as if they are being the punchline of the post. If it has appeared this way, this is not intentional by any means, and I do aplogize.
I am trying to write in this blog with a positive light, and what is being interpreted is not what I would like it to be.
If anyone has any other problems with my blog posts, or if this seems to be the case when you read my posts, please contact me immediately. Contact is in the "Contact" link on the right-side bar. Or even comment at this blog.
Genuine Apologies to those affected,
Joana (aka. Little Jay)
rambles & realization
So I have some exciting news! I've been job hunting like a crazy woman since I quit my job in May, and yesterday, I FINALLY GOT ONE. I was quite proud. :) I walked in, talked to the manager, scored an immediate interview with her then another interview with the head head manager (restraunt leader) and walked out with a job! I'm extremely excited and my training starts July 5th, fingers crossed it goes well!
Last night I went to another party, my social life has been buzzing for the past two weeks because I promise normally I'm doing nothing, so it's been quite the change. I think I've handled it alittle weird because I've drank at them all, so I need to come to some sort of balance, if that makes any sense. But yeah, I don't like parties because of drinking or whatever, I love to meet new people. Although I will admit last night I did get alittle out of hand. By 2:45 I was out like a lightbulb, with small periods of being awake (that I don't remember), to wake up at 4:15 then again at 8:30 and have been awake since. Point is: I'm sooooo tired haha, and tonight my family is hosting a BBQ so I won't be getting to bed that early. =/
Anyway on a more serious note, today I was thinking about somethings and I came to a little realization. I thought I'd write it up, considering this blog IS "little jays realizations" and all. :P
I realized that there are some people in this world that will do anything to get you down.
I mean, I've always known this and have seen it happen to other people, but recently I've just been noticing some things. You can't let these people get to you, and this is just general to everyone. You have to be confident and true to yourself, because there are some people who just really want to drag you into their pit of hatred. Maybe they're not getting enough Omega-3's (LOL, sorry I'm a bio nut. JSYK: Omega-3's give you the happy moods you have, while Omega-6's give you anger and frustation, Good Ol' Dr.Oz)But in all seriousness, if someone is just nagging at you and taking shots at your values, beleifs, intrests, self-eestem, anything at all, you have to laugh it off because really, it's pathetic. People will always say they understand you and that they know who you are, but really we only TRULY know ourselves individually, and the few we completely open up ourselves to. Ultimately, hold your head high, and your shoulders back because no matter what people will say or do, you have to stay true to yourself. Talking back, fighting or being sensitive about it just gives them what they want in the long run, trust me I've learnt this the hard way. This is a very large ramble, oh dear.
But that is all!
stay true not blue,
little jay
Last night I went to another party, my social life has been buzzing for the past two weeks because I promise normally I'm doing nothing, so it's been quite the change. I think I've handled it alittle weird because I've drank at them all, so I need to come to some sort of balance, if that makes any sense. But yeah, I don't like parties because of drinking or whatever, I love to meet new people. Although I will admit last night I did get alittle out of hand. By 2:45 I was out like a lightbulb, with small periods of being awake (that I don't remember), to wake up at 4:15 then again at 8:30 and have been awake since. Point is: I'm sooooo tired haha, and tonight my family is hosting a BBQ so I won't be getting to bed that early. =/
Anyway on a more serious note, today I was thinking about somethings and I came to a little realization. I thought I'd write it up, considering this blog IS "little jays realizations" and all. :P
I realized that there are some people in this world that will do anything to get you down.
I mean, I've always known this and have seen it happen to other people, but recently I've just been noticing some things. You can't let these people get to you, and this is just general to everyone. You have to be confident and true to yourself, because there are some people who just really want to drag you into their pit of hatred. Maybe they're not getting enough Omega-3's (LOL, sorry I'm a bio nut. JSYK: Omega-3's give you the happy moods you have, while Omega-6's give you anger and frustation, Good Ol' Dr.Oz)But in all seriousness, if someone is just nagging at you and taking shots at your values, beleifs, intrests, self-eestem, anything at all, you have to laugh it off because really, it's pathetic. People will always say they understand you and that they know who you are, but really we only TRULY know ourselves individually, and the few we completely open up ourselves to. Ultimately, hold your head high, and your shoulders back because no matter what people will say or do, you have to stay true to yourself. Talking back, fighting or being sensitive about it just gives them what they want in the long run, trust me I've learnt this the hard way. This is a very large ramble, oh dear.
But that is all!
stay true not blue,
little jay
June 25, 2010
rambling ramble ramble!
Today Portugal played against Brazil. :) It was a pretty intense game, except for the fact Brazil kept passing the ball back and forth in a line. The second half is where the players were really going to town. It was good, and in the end there were no winners or losers, so it was all good. :) Both teams got into the second round regardless! Though, truthfully, I wouldn't have minded Portugal winning, but only because Brazilians are extremely cocky towards Portugal in terms of Soccer. But whatever, it's just a game.
Hmm Hmm Hmm, what's there to talk about.
Oh, I'm going to a birthday party later. My friend Alice, whom I met through Crystal, one of my close friends. I think it'll be fun, although I don't know some of the girls going, I'll just try to be out-going and make some new friends.
This is kind of a pointless blog, =P. But I was in the mood to blog. Just kind of like a ramble. Sooo hopefully you can keep up with me.
I've been job hunting lately, but nothing has shown up yet. Hopefully one does soon, because I really miss getting a pay cheque. I'm trying to save money for a car and for spending money when I go to NYC in springbreak next year, but being income-less makes it a tad difficult.
I'm trying to make this new thing for myself of not letting anything "phase" me. Like you know the saying, "Shit don't phase me"? Or something like that? Yes? Well, that is another thing I'm trying to incorporate into my new outlook. Not letting dumb things get to me, picking my battles. Also keeping my opinions to myself, majority anyway. I shall try, :P no promises here. It's difficult for me to bite my tongue, but I'm slowly learning! When you say something, you can't take it back, and no matter how sorry you are, the other person 99.99999% of the time will bring it up and use it against you, trust me I would know. But yes, it is something I'm trying to do to de-bitchify myself. Keep my mouth closed, opinions to myself. ALTHOUGH, I will stand up for myself. It's not, in my opinion, being a bitch if you're standing up for yourself when you're practically being attacked. Food for thought!
I slightly re-did my room this week. I took down my post-card collection and pasted them along the wood trimming lining thing of my closet, and in place of where they were, are my two new Marilyn Monroe pictures. I love Marilyn Monroe. Although she was ditzy, she was so pretty and not afraid to be herself. Her quotes make my life, and I've chosen two to live by.
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
I've kind of made those my mantra, because they're true; to me anyway.
I've been really trying this past week around the house. I did alot of things without being asked, do things almost immediately when I am asked, and I've started re-connecting with my friends I slightly lost touch to. I missed them alot, and I'm glad we're getting along again, all my bull put aside. :)
I must go vaccum though, so I'll catch you all later!
smiiileeeee,
little Jay
Hmm Hmm Hmm, what's there to talk about.
Oh, I'm going to a birthday party later. My friend Alice, whom I met through Crystal, one of my close friends. I think it'll be fun, although I don't know some of the girls going, I'll just try to be out-going and make some new friends.
This is kind of a pointless blog, =P. But I was in the mood to blog. Just kind of like a ramble. Sooo hopefully you can keep up with me.
I've been job hunting lately, but nothing has shown up yet. Hopefully one does soon, because I really miss getting a pay cheque. I'm trying to save money for a car and for spending money when I go to NYC in springbreak next year, but being income-less makes it a tad difficult.
I'm trying to make this new thing for myself of not letting anything "phase" me. Like you know the saying, "Shit don't phase me"? Or something like that? Yes? Well, that is another thing I'm trying to incorporate into my new outlook. Not letting dumb things get to me, picking my battles. Also keeping my opinions to myself, majority anyway. I shall try, :P no promises here. It's difficult for me to bite my tongue, but I'm slowly learning! When you say something, you can't take it back, and no matter how sorry you are, the other person 99.99999% of the time will bring it up and use it against you, trust me I would know. But yes, it is something I'm trying to do to de-bitchify myself. Keep my mouth closed, opinions to myself. ALTHOUGH, I will stand up for myself. It's not, in my opinion, being a bitch if you're standing up for yourself when you're practically being attacked. Food for thought!
I slightly re-did my room this week. I took down my post-card collection and pasted them along the wood trimming lining thing of my closet, and in place of where they were, are my two new Marilyn Monroe pictures. I love Marilyn Monroe. Although she was ditzy, she was so pretty and not afraid to be herself. Her quotes make my life, and I've chosen two to live by.
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
I've kind of made those my mantra, because they're true; to me anyway.
I've been really trying this past week around the house. I did alot of things without being asked, do things almost immediately when I am asked, and I've started re-connecting with my friends I slightly lost touch to. I missed them alot, and I'm glad we're getting along again, all my bull put aside. :)
I must go vaccum though, so I'll catch you all later!
smiiileeeee,
little Jay
June 24, 2010
25 Random Question Tag.
So, this tag has been going around YouTube, and since I'm way too lazy to make any videos whatsoever, I decided to answer the questions on my blog. :) I tag everyone!
1. Do you have any pets?
I have one dog, Snoopy, and two pet Finches.
2. Name three things that are physically close to you.
My Cellphone, Purse and a Pillow :)
3. What's the weather like right now?
Uhhm, alittle cloudy, but it was sunny most of the day.
4. Do you drive? If so, have you crashed?
I have my learners, and no I haven't crashed thankfully!
5. What time did you wake up this morning?
I woke up pretty early considering it's summer. Around 8:30ish am.
6. When was the last time you showered?
I showered about.. 6 hours ago?
7. What was the last movie you saw?
In theaters: Iron Man and then I watched Dear John online
8. What does your last text message say?
It says "yeah?" from Cameron :)
9. What is your ringtone?
Right now it's Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams by BoB or something.
10. Have you ever been to a different country?
Yes, I've been priviledged enough to travel. :) I've been to Portugal, Switzerland, France, Spain and Germany.
11. Do you like Sushi?
I only like some parts of it, I've only had it once though.
12. Where do you buy your grocceries?
SuperStore, Safeway... and sometimes Sobeys
13. Have you ever taken medication for you to fall asleep better?
Sleeping Pills no, but some cough medicine makes you drowsy
14. How many siblings do you have?
One brother, Jason and he's 13 years old.
15. Do you have a desktop computer, or a laptop?
I have a laptop
16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
I will be 17 :) in October!
17. Do you colour your hair?
Sometimes I'll get peek a boos or something, but I haven't dyed it in a year
18. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
I wear glasses more often than contacts, but I do have them
19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.
Uhhm, well it's 8:00 pm here, so I'm probably going to curl up and watch some T.V. or work on my Math!
20. When was the last time you cried?
Uhhmmm.. last night, some stuff was going on :(
21. What is your perfect pizza topping?
I love cheese. Cheese is epic, or like deleuxe!
22. Which do you prefer-- hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
Cheeseburgers :)
23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
The closest I've pulled was 7:45 am at a sleepover.
24. What is your eye color?
Brown, :( Boring hey?
25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Honestly, no. LOL! I THINK Coke is alittle fizzier than Pepsi, I could be wrong.
1. Do you have any pets?
I have one dog, Snoopy, and two pet Finches.
2. Name three things that are physically close to you.
My Cellphone, Purse and a Pillow :)
3. What's the weather like right now?
Uhhm, alittle cloudy, but it was sunny most of the day.
4. Do you drive? If so, have you crashed?
I have my learners, and no I haven't crashed thankfully!
5. What time did you wake up this morning?
I woke up pretty early considering it's summer. Around 8:30ish am.
6. When was the last time you showered?
I showered about.. 6 hours ago?
7. What was the last movie you saw?
In theaters: Iron Man and then I watched Dear John online
8. What does your last text message say?
It says "yeah?" from Cameron :)
9. What is your ringtone?
Right now it's Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams by BoB or something.
10. Have you ever been to a different country?
Yes, I've been priviledged enough to travel. :) I've been to Portugal, Switzerland, France, Spain and Germany.
11. Do you like Sushi?
I only like some parts of it, I've only had it once though.
12. Where do you buy your grocceries?
SuperStore, Safeway... and sometimes Sobeys
13. Have you ever taken medication for you to fall asleep better?
Sleeping Pills no, but some cough medicine makes you drowsy
14. How many siblings do you have?
One brother, Jason and he's 13 years old.
15. Do you have a desktop computer, or a laptop?
I have a laptop
16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
I will be 17 :) in October!
17. Do you colour your hair?
Sometimes I'll get peek a boos or something, but I haven't dyed it in a year
18. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
I wear glasses more often than contacts, but I do have them
19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.
Uhhm, well it's 8:00 pm here, so I'm probably going to curl up and watch some T.V. or work on my Math!
20. When was the last time you cried?
Uhhmmm.. last night, some stuff was going on :(
21. What is your perfect pizza topping?
I love cheese. Cheese is epic, or like deleuxe!
22. Which do you prefer-- hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
Cheeseburgers :)
23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
The closest I've pulled was 7:45 am at a sleepover.
24. What is your eye color?
Brown, :( Boring hey?
25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Honestly, no. LOL! I THINK Coke is alittle fizzier than Pepsi, I could be wrong.
June 23, 2010
Strawberry Chocolate-y Cake. :)
Ps, that red jelly-looking stuff, is actually a strawberry that was sliced.
So, clearly as you see, today I decided to do something I legitimately never do. I woke up, and I decided tooooo... DUN DUN DUN, BAKE A CAKE! I've had a bit, and let me tell you it is deeeeelicious. So I decided, "Why not post the recipe?!" I have a tendency of making my own version of a cake, from a loose outline, if that makes any sense. I didn't look online for this recipe, so I'm sorry if somewhere, someone has posted the exact same thing. I'm not trying to steal it! This is just how I made MY cake, and how I think it turned out. :) Alright!
2 1/3 cups of Flour
1 Tablespoon of Baking Powder
3/4 Tablespoon of Salt
1 1/2 cups of Sugar!
3 Eggs
1 Cup of Milk
1 Bar of Chcolate, (I used Dark Swiss Chocolate "Lindt")
1/2 of a 1/4 lb Margarine Square
5-6 Juicy Strawberries!
1. Add the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar into a bowl, and sift it all together so it's blended.
2. Add the eggs, and the cup of milk. Begin to mix that on a lower setting.
3. As the batter is being mixed, take your bar of chocolate and break it up into small pieces in a small cooking pan. Add the margarine, and put the small cooking pan in a larger (soup pan kind of) pan that has boiling water. Let the chocolate melt into it's lovely goodness!
4. As the batter mixes and chocolate melts, cut up your washed strawberries into fine slices, and mix just a pinch of sugar into them.
5. When the chocolate is melted, add it into the batter and beat it at a high setting until blended.
6. Put the strawberries in, and with a wooden spoon slowly and gently mix the strawberries into the batter.
7. Put in a pan with alittle bit of sugar at the bottom, cook at 400 degrees and for about 10-15 minutes, or until ready. :)
Enjoy your cake, and here is the finished product! If anyone makes this, comment below and tell me how it turns out for you. :) Remember, everything doesnt have to be exactly like mine, you can add in, take out, or replace ingredients :)
PLEASE, Keep in mind I am no cake-making professional LOL, and that this is the first time I've made a cake in ages, so yes the picture is a little weird. :)
June 21, 2010
Sunny Days to Summer
So today, the temperature where I am lives up to the title of this blog. For those of you who don't know, I live in Edmonton, Alberta. In Canada. No, we do not live in Igloos or party on polar bears, but let me tell you, it gets COLD here. At some point this past winter, the two coldest places on Earth were EDMONTON and SIBERIA. What does that tell you?
But today, it was absolutely goregous out. Normally I don't leave my little haven of my basement, since I never really have anything to do outside. But today, who cares, I was studying for my biology exam while tanning! It was 27+ degrees (Celcius)! For those of you who live in the states where 25 degrees means winter, you're all "pssht, that's not hot, what are you talking about crazy person." But trust me, in Edmonton, the land where it snows in May some years, it is VERY hot. Anyway, despite my ramble on weather. LOL!
I'm sorry I've been kind of M.I.A but exams have been happening the past two weeks, and then the last week of school was pretty hectic. Tomorrow is my last final, so definately afterwards I have plans of blogging way more, and truly committing to the purpose of this blog: becoming better. No, I don't mean that in an obnoxious, cocky way. But I also didn't specify because I want to be better in alot of aspects of my life. I want to be a better friend, better daughter, better big sister, better girlfriend, have better eating habits, better physical shape, better in school, and just ultimately, a better person. The past few years I've fluxuated in being a complete bitch, or being a really good person. I think it's about time I finally choose a side to be on, and never go back to the bitchy side.
My summer really sucked last year, and this year I am not letting it go to waste again. I have a check-list of things I want to do and accomplish, and I am going to be determined to do them, rather than sit in bed all day sleeping and achieving nothing. This is going to be a long shot for me, since I win the award for laziest 16 year old ever, but I am going to legitimately try! I'll put my check-list up in a next blog I write. :)
Hmm... What else to talk about.
IMPORTANT TO ALL:
In part of becoming "better" I need to apologize for all the things I've stupidly done in the past. Such as mistakes, or something I've said, just really anything that at some point offended or hurt someone.
So let this be my public apology to ANYONE, that I've hurt, offended, betrayed, lied to, talked about, anything. I want this to be a fresh start, as of right now. June 21st, 2010 at 6:10 pm. The past is in the past, and as much as I would like to change somethings, I can't. I have to learn from my mistakes, and not dwell on them. Trust me, I'll make more mistakes to come, so this is another apology in advance for whatever I might do. But I think this is a crucial factor to how my outlook changes on life. So, to anyone really, even if it's a stranger who stumbled upon this blog whom I've randomly at some point given a dirty (unintentional) look to; I am sorry.
My list of how to change to myself is slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, coming together.
1. De-clutter your life
2. Apologize for Mistakes
love love love,
little Jay.
But today, it was absolutely goregous out. Normally I don't leave my little haven of my basement, since I never really have anything to do outside. But today, who cares, I was studying for my biology exam while tanning! It was 27+ degrees (Celcius)! For those of you who live in the states where 25 degrees means winter, you're all "pssht, that's not hot, what are you talking about crazy person." But trust me, in Edmonton, the land where it snows in May some years, it is VERY hot. Anyway, despite my ramble on weather. LOL!
I'm sorry I've been kind of M.I.A but exams have been happening the past two weeks, and then the last week of school was pretty hectic. Tomorrow is my last final, so definately afterwards I have plans of blogging way more, and truly committing to the purpose of this blog: becoming better. No, I don't mean that in an obnoxious, cocky way. But I also didn't specify because I want to be better in alot of aspects of my life. I want to be a better friend, better daughter, better big sister, better girlfriend, have better eating habits, better physical shape, better in school, and just ultimately, a better person. The past few years I've fluxuated in being a complete bitch, or being a really good person. I think it's about time I finally choose a side to be on, and never go back to the bitchy side.
My summer really sucked last year, and this year I am not letting it go to waste again. I have a check-list of things I want to do and accomplish, and I am going to be determined to do them, rather than sit in bed all day sleeping and achieving nothing. This is going to be a long shot for me, since I win the award for laziest 16 year old ever, but I am going to legitimately try! I'll put my check-list up in a next blog I write. :)
Hmm... What else to talk about.
IMPORTANT TO ALL:
In part of becoming "better" I need to apologize for all the things I've stupidly done in the past. Such as mistakes, or something I've said, just really anything that at some point offended or hurt someone.
So let this be my public apology to ANYONE, that I've hurt, offended, betrayed, lied to, talked about, anything. I want this to be a fresh start, as of right now. June 21st, 2010 at 6:10 pm. The past is in the past, and as much as I would like to change somethings, I can't. I have to learn from my mistakes, and not dwell on them. Trust me, I'll make more mistakes to come, so this is another apology in advance for whatever I might do. But I think this is a crucial factor to how my outlook changes on life. So, to anyone really, even if it's a stranger who stumbled upon this blog whom I've randomly at some point given a dirty (unintentional) look to; I am sorry.
My list of how to change to myself is slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, coming together.
1. De-clutter your life
2. Apologize for Mistakes
love love love,
little Jay.
June 19, 2010
summer 2010, about to begin.
Good Afternoon, :) Here anyway.
So, I have one more exam until my summer begins! I did my very dreaded math diploma yesterday, but fingers crossed for good results!! Anyway, last night I went to a party. I don't really go to parties but it was one of my friends in my english class, Nicolla, it was her birthday party. The big 17!
It's the first party I legit went to with like drinking and smoking and stuff, so I really didn't know how to react at first. In the end, it ended up pretty fun if we're being honest. :) And I made some new friends!
I learned that pushing myself out of my comfort zone resulted in me being more outgoing around strangers. I'm glad I was put out of my comfort zone, and I did handle the peer pressure of smoking by saying no! Hooray for me!
I think parties are good, since you get better socializing skills, but you do have to go aboout them the right way, and SMART way. :)
All my blessings for everyones summer!
- little jay
June 17, 2010
Doomsday
Tomorrow is doomsday.
No, not literally like "OH NO THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" No, but It is the day of my dreaded MATH DIPLOMA. I'm not excited one bit. But, I'm going to try and be optimistic about it. If I fail tomorrow, I can alway re-take the diploma in August, just like I'm already re-taking the course in summer school. :( Anyway, Sorry for no blogs lately or anything. Finals are KILLING me it's horrible. SOON THEY WILL BE OVER! My last one is on the 22nd. :) I'll definately blog more after all the finals are finito.
Stay smiling, summers close!
-little Jay
No, not literally like "OH NO THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" No, but It is the day of my dreaded MATH DIPLOMA. I'm not excited one bit. But, I'm going to try and be optimistic about it. If I fail tomorrow, I can alway re-take the diploma in August, just like I'm already re-taking the course in summer school. :( Anyway, Sorry for no blogs lately or anything. Finals are KILLING me it's horrible. SOON THEY WILL BE OVER! My last one is on the 22nd. :) I'll definately blog more after all the finals are finito.
Stay smiling, summers close!
-little Jay
June 7, 2010
bittersweet realizations
The past few days of my realizations have been bittersweet. As you saw with my last blog post, one of my best friends' baba passed away. Her death made me, and a couple of my other friends, realize some things.
We think everything lasts forever, but really, our days are numbered and minutes are limited. Some of us don't know when the clock will stop, and other do because of illnesses or if your a criminal,a death sentence. Nothing lasts forever, I mean, metaphorically it can, like true love. But we won't always have who we have right now with us. As difficult it is to accept, our loved ones days are numbered too. We have to appreciate everyone for the little time we have them for. We never know what tomorrow will bring, as much as we all try to plan for it. I have never lost someone,a physical person. I mean, yes, my grandfather died when I was 3, but I don't recall any of it, and I only have one memory of him that's clear and makes sense. Even though Baba wasn't related to me in anyway, it was a shock to lose her. The last time I saw her was a month ago, when she was giving Brittany and I cookies and sandwiches to take home with us. I never thought that would be the last time. Although we did have a good time, she never really found out how much she really meant.
Another thing I realized really late, is that we only have one life. We do. We're not cats with nine lives, we only have one. Up until now, truthfully, I wasn't really living it how I pictured it, or how I wanted to. Throughout your life you'll make a hell of alot of mistakes. I know I have, and I want to take this time to publicly apologize to people I've hurt. And I also know sometimes it seems like the end, but really, tomorrow brings a new day. The past is the past, you can't change it, you have to accept it, learn your lesson, and apply it to the future so it doesn't happen again.
Yet another thing I realized, loved ones. Friends, Family. Like I said before, we make alot of mistakes during our lives. But your friends, and family will always help you through it. They'll always push you into the right direction. Although sometimes the truth hurts, we have to see where the other person is coming from in order for them to be saying that in the first place. Since I am extremely stubborn and hard-headed, this will be a challenege for me, but I'll work on it.
Anyway, I'm off to bed. Just remeber to say I love you to the ones you love, to not take moments or days for granted, and just simply live your life how YOU want to live it. Someone will always judge, no matter what you do. So either way, it's the same outcome. Do the things you love, and want with no regrets.
-Little Jay.
We think everything lasts forever, but really, our days are numbered and minutes are limited. Some of us don't know when the clock will stop, and other do because of illnesses or if your a criminal,a death sentence. Nothing lasts forever, I mean, metaphorically it can, like true love. But we won't always have who we have right now with us. As difficult it is to accept, our loved ones days are numbered too. We have to appreciate everyone for the little time we have them for. We never know what tomorrow will bring, as much as we all try to plan for it. I have never lost someone,a physical person. I mean, yes, my grandfather died when I was 3, but I don't recall any of it, and I only have one memory of him that's clear and makes sense. Even though Baba wasn't related to me in anyway, it was a shock to lose her. The last time I saw her was a month ago, when she was giving Brittany and I cookies and sandwiches to take home with us. I never thought that would be the last time. Although we did have a good time, she never really found out how much she really meant.
Another thing I realized really late, is that we only have one life. We do. We're not cats with nine lives, we only have one. Up until now, truthfully, I wasn't really living it how I pictured it, or how I wanted to. Throughout your life you'll make a hell of alot of mistakes. I know I have, and I want to take this time to publicly apologize to people I've hurt. And I also know sometimes it seems like the end, but really, tomorrow brings a new day. The past is the past, you can't change it, you have to accept it, learn your lesson, and apply it to the future so it doesn't happen again.
Yet another thing I realized, loved ones. Friends, Family. Like I said before, we make alot of mistakes during our lives. But your friends, and family will always help you through it. They'll always push you into the right direction. Although sometimes the truth hurts, we have to see where the other person is coming from in order for them to be saying that in the first place. Since I am extremely stubborn and hard-headed, this will be a challenege for me, but I'll work on it.
Anyway, I'm off to bed. Just remeber to say I love you to the ones you love, to not take moments or days for granted, and just simply live your life how YOU want to live it. Someone will always judge, no matter what you do. So either way, it's the same outcome. Do the things you love, and want with no regrets.
-Little Jay.
June 2, 2010
the ukranian baba to a portuguese girl, RIP.
Death is an all too easy subject now-a-days. We see the people in the newspaper who die, or see statistics of someone who dies with an illiness, and all too easily, we shake it off. We don't give it a second chance that one day, we'll be a statistic. Just like love and hate, its so used out of context.
"I wish she was dead"
"I'll kill you"
No, you don't wish she was dead, or to kill anyone. Even though it's said in a playful or teasing manner, they're heavy words.
Today, one of my best friends since Junior High lost her baba (grandma). Truthfully, her grandma was practically mine as well. For the past three years I have attended part of Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. She knew I looooved perogies, and ukrainian food, and would pack me enough to feed a small country just to take home! I lost my grandpa when I was three, so I don't remember how it felt, or even at the time if I understood. But losing someone who was like a stand in grandmother while mine are over seas, I don't even know how to feel. Or WHAT to feel.
She was this short, bubbly character. I swear, for a 71 year old woman, she acted like she was 20. She was so full of life, and completely fashion forward, MORE fashion forward than anyone my age! Her hugs were the best hugs ever, and she'd strike up a conversation with anyone. It still hasn't set in, that she's gone. That never will I have buckwheat perogies like hers, or her epic turkey filling, and her sneeking Jenna and I wine at their family functions! I remember I'd take generous helpings at her house, and she'd push on "EAT! EAT MORE!" and if you didn't have seconds, oh dear that was quite the crisis. I loved her. Maybe she wasn't my blood relative, but she was something. I was a complete stranger, just her granddaughters friend and she spontaneously just invited me over after meeting me a few times. She'd always ask how my life was, what was going on, anything. She was my baba. I hadn't even visited her in the hospital, I was supposed to go this weekend when she was switching to a more spaceous room. They're not kidding when they say that every second counts. It truly does. You don't think that tomorrow you can lose someone, but really, life is the most fragile thing. It's easily lost, easily ruined, and easily taken for granted.
Life is too short to let things ruin your day. Life is too short to let people just walk all over you, and make of you what they want. You need to LIVE your dreams, not sit and dream of them. It's beyond a cliche, but really, we all have to live our life to the fullest, each and every single day.
I love you baba, RIP <3>
You may not be here, but you'll never be gone. Your memory lives stronger than anything in all our hearts.
"I wish she was dead"
"I'll kill you"
No, you don't wish she was dead, or to kill anyone. Even though it's said in a playful or teasing manner, they're heavy words.
Today, one of my best friends since Junior High lost her baba (grandma). Truthfully, her grandma was practically mine as well. For the past three years I have attended part of Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. She knew I looooved perogies, and ukrainian food, and would pack me enough to feed a small country just to take home! I lost my grandpa when I was three, so I don't remember how it felt, or even at the time if I understood. But losing someone who was like a stand in grandmother while mine are over seas, I don't even know how to feel. Or WHAT to feel.
She was this short, bubbly character. I swear, for a 71 year old woman, she acted like she was 20. She was so full of life, and completely fashion forward, MORE fashion forward than anyone my age! Her hugs were the best hugs ever, and she'd strike up a conversation with anyone. It still hasn't set in, that she's gone. That never will I have buckwheat perogies like hers, or her epic turkey filling, and her sneeking Jenna and I wine at their family functions! I remember I'd take generous helpings at her house, and she'd push on "EAT! EAT MORE!" and if you didn't have seconds, oh dear that was quite the crisis. I loved her. Maybe she wasn't my blood relative, but she was something. I was a complete stranger, just her granddaughters friend and she spontaneously just invited me over after meeting me a few times. She'd always ask how my life was, what was going on, anything. She was my baba. I hadn't even visited her in the hospital, I was supposed to go this weekend when she was switching to a more spaceous room. They're not kidding when they say that every second counts. It truly does. You don't think that tomorrow you can lose someone, but really, life is the most fragile thing. It's easily lost, easily ruined, and easily taken for granted.
Life is too short to let things ruin your day. Life is too short to let people just walk all over you, and make of you what they want. You need to LIVE your dreams, not sit and dream of them. It's beyond a cliche, but really, we all have to live our life to the fullest, each and every single day.
I love you baba, RIP <3>
You may not be here, but you'll never be gone. Your memory lives stronger than anything in all our hearts.
May 31, 2010
food for thought, before I go
Why are people so unbelievably cynical and pessimistic ALL the time? I don't understand it. Yes, we all have our days where everything just goes wrong and we want to get hit by a bus, but all the time? That's just overkill, to the extreme. Especially when it's over something really dumb like, "oh no, I gained 5 pounds." "oh no, my shoes have mud on them." like, REAALLLYYY? Our life expectancy is like, 75 ish. Don't quote me on it, because I'm way too lazy to go look it up. But really, what is so horrible when we're 16 (other than things like life-altering situations, ie, death of a loved one) that is going to completely haunt us the rest of our lives? Yeah, some people have legit reasons that their life is really bad, and I'm sorry for them, but even THEY manage to look up and see the sun sometime or another. But just people who stomp around hating the world over nothing? That's just dumb. If you hate your life so much, change it, and stop complaining people. You're wasting your energy and becoming bitter over little things! Like, smile once in awhile!! That's a pet peeve, constantly cynical and pessimistic people. The glass is half full.
smile, live, laugh,
little jay.
smile, live, laugh,
little jay.
neutral switzerland.
Nothing really happened today, but I did have alittle thinking process.
My friends get mad at me sometimes because I seem to "choose sides", but really, I'm not. I'm the kind of person who will always try to put someone in perspective on what the person they are mad or fighting with is going through. If that makes ANY sense. Heres a little example. Let's say A was mad at B. I was friends with both A and B and heard both sides on what's going on. If A complains about B, I'll say what B is going through. If B complains about A, I'll say what A is going through. I hope that makes alittle more sense. But yes, that is just how I am and what I do. Everyone accuses me of taking the other person's side, but really, I'm not. Nothing is truly ever one-sided, and for things with friends I try to look at the both sides, because really, one of them might be wrong in an area, but the other could be wrong about something else aswell.
LOL, isn't this all confusing? Why do I make it harder on myself.
Anywaaays,
Meh, today was a MEH kind of day. Nothing really exciting, quite boring actually and I have a ton of homework to do, so I better get on it! Crunch time with school now, 10 days until exams.
stay gorgeous,
little jay
My friends get mad at me sometimes because I seem to "choose sides", but really, I'm not. I'm the kind of person who will always try to put someone in perspective on what the person they are mad or fighting with is going through. If that makes ANY sense. Heres a little example. Let's say A was mad at B. I was friends with both A and B and heard both sides on what's going on. If A complains about B, I'll say what B is going through. If B complains about A, I'll say what A is going through. I hope that makes alittle more sense. But yes, that is just how I am and what I do. Everyone accuses me of taking the other person's side, but really, I'm not. Nothing is truly ever one-sided, and for things with friends I try to look at the both sides, because really, one of them might be wrong in an area, but the other could be wrong about something else aswell.
LOL, isn't this all confusing? Why do I make it harder on myself.
Anywaaays,
Meh, today was a MEH kind of day. Nothing really exciting, quite boring actually and I have a ton of homework to do, so I better get on it! Crunch time with school now, 10 days until exams.
stay gorgeous,
little jay
May 30, 2010
long time no see!
Oh my LANTA, I have not blogged in a whoooolee week.
That is kind of berserk, don't you think?
It's because nothing has really been blog-worthy, and then ontop of that I have slightly become sleep deprived and therefore, lazy. And on top of THAT, it's becoming crunch time at school since exams are really soon, which sucks. :(
It's because nothing has really been blog-worthy, and then ontop of that I have slightly become sleep deprived and therefore, lazy. And on top of THAT, it's becoming crunch time at school since exams are really soon, which sucks. :(
Anyway, yesterday I took a little trip to Sylvan Lake, which is about an 1 hour or 2 out of the city, and the people we were with were all "YEAH! BEACH!" yes, beach. with snow, and rain. LOL it's kind of sad. We ended up going to some museum about like, the evolution of transportation and all this stuff. I thought it'd be a drag, but in the end, it was actually really cool!
And, the greatest part, I got a bag I've been dyyyiiinngg to have!
This past week, MakeUpByMel on YouTube did a "what's in my going out bag?" and I watched it, despite being illegal to go party yet. Her bag was a grey "Maggie Bag" Clutch, which is made 100% of SEATBELTS! I thought that was the coolest thing ever, and began my search for one. I knew you could order them online, but I don't like getting things online, so I had no idea where to buy this thing. Guess where I found it? IN THE MUSEUM GIFTSHOP! Since the museum was mostly about cars, LOL they had the maggie bag seatbelt clutches! I was so excited, and ended up buying a black and grey two-toned clutch that fits a ton of stuff! It's so pretty, and it's completely recycled! Thousands of seatbelts get thrown in landfills because of discoloration, and I think it's so great that this bag uses them. :) I'm so happy!
I'll definately blog more,
This past week, MakeUpByMel on YouTube did a "what's in my going out bag?" and I watched it, despite being illegal to go party yet. Her bag was a grey "Maggie Bag" Clutch, which is made 100% of SEATBELTS! I thought that was the coolest thing ever, and began my search for one. I knew you could order them online, but I don't like getting things online, so I had no idea where to buy this thing. Guess where I found it? IN THE MUSEUM GIFTSHOP! Since the museum was mostly about cars, LOL they had the maggie bag seatbelt clutches! I was so excited, and ended up buying a black and grey two-toned clutch that fits a ton of stuff! It's so pretty, and it's completely recycled! Thousands of seatbelts get thrown in landfills because of discoloration, and I think it's so great that this bag uses them. :) I'm so happy!
I'll definately blog more,
stay goregous,
little jay
May 23, 2010
good morning, good morning
So, I'm sorry yesterday was a blogless day, I wasn't really in the mood. :P
Anyway, my last blog mentioned I was de-cluttering my life, and that's what I did. Let me tell you, it feels AMAZING. My room has never been so spotless, and I know where everything is and it's all in its' specific place. It felt great choosing what I wanted and what I didn't want. I gave away alittle less than half of my closet to my neighbours two daughters(they don't have much), and then all the trinkets and stuff I don't want have gone into a box to donate someplace. It feels amazing, I definately believe that's the first step to changing. :) I'll keep you updated on steps as I go along, because of course its' not a one day thing!
Today my cast family is coming over. If you didn't know, this semester our school production was "Back to the 80's: The Totally Awsome Musical!" and I audtioned and got a part as back up singer, which then led me to become a character "Kathy Richardson" which really means, I was Paris Hilton's mom in the 80s! LOL! Everyone in the play became so close we started calling eachother "cast family" and it's true. A diversity of people tried out, and steped out of their comfort zones (I know I did.) and all in all, it was an amazing experience. So since the play is over, we all try to keep in touch at school and hanging out sometimes, this month it's my turn so we can hang out. :) It's going to be awsome. That's another thing that's really good for you, step out of your comfort zone! Yes, sometimes it won't work, but in the end, you just push your boundaries and find out talents you didn't know you had!
I must bid thee all farewell! I have to go set stuff up, and also my english partner is coming over so we can finish our storyboard assignment for "Run Lola Run", which by the way, was an amazing movie. DEFINATELY recommend. :)
stay goregous,
little jay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)