72 hours to seventeen.

So, it's my birthday in 3 days.
I decided to do a little blog before I jet off to work at 5:30.
It occured to me that this year, I graduate. I'm kind of a slow person in realizing things, like for example, in grade 10 it didn't really OCCUR to me we were in grade 10 until the graduation of the senior class that year...... yup, 10 months and it never occured to me.
I feel like time flew by way too fast. I feel like I should've done things, but I didn't. I feel like I have alot of regrets. I'm not really a believer on the whole "live life with no regrets" TOOOO a certain. extent. I just wish I could have known better, you know? I wish I had been one of those people that set out a plan for myself, a goal. I never really did that until this year, and this year my marks are killer and school is going primarily great. Before I just slacked, and I really wish I hadn't.
I kind of wish I wasn't as shy, well no, not shy. But not afraid to do things. That instead of waiting, waiting and waiting for things to happen, sitting there taking a number, I should have MADE them happen. Patience didn't really get me anywhere other than being irritated that things promised DIDN'T happen. I don't want to make promises anymore, and I'm not saying that in a pessimistic way. A promise, for me, is something heavy. It's not just thrown out there for me. I will admit, that sometimes I did just say I promise because I thought I would, but then things change, opinions change, and things don't go as planned. I've broken alot of promises this year, in the span of like a month and a half, and I know I've hurt people because of it, and I'm sorry for that. I know that I hate when people make me promises and don't keep them, so my rule of law from this moment on is to NOT make a promise, unless with 200% of every fibre in my body will keep it; because that person deserves that much if the thing is so important to them for they to ask you to promise.

ANYYYYYYYYWAY, let's talk about life.
I'm stuck on two post-secondary schools. Both has spectacular programs, Gmac and U of A.
I'm going to apply to both, but I have to actually CHOOSE one sooner than later. Why is getting to "real life" so difficult? :( Mama is calling me to eat, I'll blog again soon.

peace and blessings,
little jay