Death is an all too easy subject now-a-days. We see the people in the newspaper who die, or see statistics of someone who dies with an illiness, and all too easily, we shake it off. We don't give it a second chance that one day, we'll be a statistic. Just like love and hate, its so used out of context.
"I wish she was dead"
"I'll kill you"
No, you don't wish she was dead, or to kill anyone. Even though it's said in a playful or teasing manner, they're heavy words.
Today, one of my best friends since Junior High lost her baba (grandma). Truthfully, her grandma was practically mine as well. For the past three years I have attended part of Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. She knew I looooved perogies, and ukrainian food, and would pack me enough to feed a small country just to take home! I lost my grandpa when I was three, so I don't remember how it felt, or even at the time if I understood. But losing someone who was like a stand in grandmother while mine are over seas, I don't even know how to feel. Or WHAT to feel.
She was this short, bubbly character. I swear, for a 71 year old woman, she acted like she was 20. She was so full of life, and completely fashion forward, MORE fashion forward than anyone my age! Her hugs were the best hugs ever, and she'd strike up a conversation with anyone. It still hasn't set in, that she's gone. That never will I have buckwheat perogies like hers, or her epic turkey filling, and her sneeking Jenna and I wine at their family functions! I remember I'd take generous helpings at her house, and she'd push on "EAT! EAT MORE!" and if you didn't have seconds, oh dear that was quite the crisis. I loved her. Maybe she wasn't my blood relative, but she was something. I was a complete stranger, just her granddaughters friend and she spontaneously just invited me over after meeting me a few times. She'd always ask how my life was, what was going on, anything. She was my baba. I hadn't even visited her in the hospital, I was supposed to go this weekend when she was switching to a more spaceous room. They're not kidding when they say that every second counts. It truly does. You don't think that tomorrow you can lose someone, but really, life is the most fragile thing. It's easily lost, easily ruined, and easily taken for granted.
Life is too short to let things ruin your day. Life is too short to let people just walk all over you, and make of you what they want. You need to LIVE your dreams, not sit and dream of them. It's beyond a cliche, but really, we all have to live our life to the fullest, each and every single day.
I love you baba, RIP <3>
You may not be here, but you'll never be gone. Your memory lives stronger than anything in all our hearts.
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