I've come to the conclusion that provoking a female when on their period is closely related and more deadly than provoking let's say... a poisonous snake, or some psychotic serial killer. It should be frowned upon in society. Boys, you just don't understand the immensity of confusion and clusterfuck-ness of hormones that goes down during that 5-7 day span. I'll paint a picture for you.
First, we're bleeding from our lady parts. Okay? Don't mean to disgust you or change your sexuality by that mental picture but it is life, and frankly, life also is born due to that bleeding if you catch my drift. Just imagine if you were bleeding from your man parts, would you enjoy it? Would you saunter around in your favourite clothes and shake your ass to your favourite song and just be 24/7 happy? No. You wouldn't. Then, not only are we suffering from what feels like a gunshot wound down south, our OTHER lady parts (for some women, not all) feel like they have been directly falcon punched by Mike Tyson and swell sometimes double their size. For you guys reading this, I bet you're all smirking because who doesn't like a girl spontaneously double their bra size for a week, it's like male heaven. But let me tell you, they are so painful that even a simple, nice, friendly hug will turn into a deadly murder scene if you hug too hard.
So far, we're bleeding and suffering from boob pain. Next comes the cramps. I don't even know how many guys have asked me... "what do cramps feel like?" What do they feel like?! They feel like a knife is scraping at the inside of your abdomen, or try stabbing a knife in your testicle and please, tell me how pleasant that feels. Aside from cramps, some of us girls have bloating (where we puff up like a pufferfish with water weight), back pain, and for some girls food just decides it doesn't want to be inside our bodies any longer.
You can now imagine all the physical problems going on, now on top of that our hormones decide to just explode and swing everywhere like we're on some carousel. This isn't a fun carousel. It's like being in a freaking saw movie. In a split second we can turn into your greatest nightmare. Here's some examples of how dramatic these mood swings can become over the smallest things:
Example 1: My one friend burst into tears when no one saved her a pot of coffee one morning.
Example 2: I burst into tears when my day consisted of me dropping my favourite book in a puddle (HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?), when every single bus I could take home drove passed me in 30 seconds that I waited to cross the street, and then dropped my phone in a snow pile.
Example 3: I angrily compared someone to a lizard for complaining that their soup I had just served them was cold, despite that I burnt my finger on it. A lizard.
Example 4: Another friend spontaneously burst into tears when she opened the fridge and realized there was no milk for breakfast.
Do you need any more examples? Do you want to provoke us over bigger things? Does that sound like a good idea during the 5-7 days we suffer, when you could leave it for the other 20 some days that month? No bro, take it from a highly PMS girl (my poor boyfriend...), don't even try.
But, although we turn into these messed up versions of Godzilla for 5-7 days, don't be afraid and retreat into the bomb shelters boys. When the 5-7 days are over, we will turn back into our loving selves. However, if this is a constant scenario for you, you poor soul, you're probably dating a witch.
But please, don't worry... we're only girls. :)
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